The Life and Views of Graham Reid

Johnson Looking Forward

2011-10-06T07:59:00.002-04:00

Into the quarter finals we go, and as the usual nine contenders drop to eight, Martin Johnson has thrown in his first surprise.

The England manager, seemingly bereft of bravery now he wears a tracksuit, has replaced Mike Tindall with Toby Flood at inside centre, something that he refuses to trial shortly before the World Cup.

What does this mean for the match? Some critics have seen it as a positive move, designed to introduce more wide play into England’s backline. Flood is seen as a gain-line runner who can release a marauding Chris Ashton into gaps down the centre, or pop off to Manu Tuilagi, a fast and skillful centre who seems intent on causing a train wreck in his straight running.

In reality, it is doubtful this will happen. The ball will still need to come through Jonny Wilkinson who, as ever, will play his kicking game and look for a territorial advantage. Where England can look to take advantage is second and third phase ball, but quick service is not guaranteed. With the likes of Courtney Lawes and James Haskell on the bench, England will use one up runners like Nick Easter and Tom Palmer in a style more fitting for the early 1990s. Rob Andrew would be proud.

Accuracy from the back of a ruck hasn’t been guaranteed either, and Ben Youngs will have to find the form of last November if he is to make any use of Toby Flood and the English wide boys.

Of course, this match is so hard to predict given the nature of France’s performances this World Cup. They will surely not be as dire as they were against Tonga, but can they reach the promise that they showed in the first 15 minutes against New Zealand?

The Wilko/Flood axis is one that can be exploited by the French midfield, should they be in the mood to play. Maxime Mermoz is a quick and powerful runner, while Aurelien Rougerie has some deft hand skills. They will look to ruffle Flood, who will see more tackling action in the centre of the field. He is not known for his defence, and Wilkinson lacks the speed to cover Flood at the top level.

Add to that the inexperience of Manu Tuilagi and this England backline doesn’t look like it will be the focal point of Saturday’s match.

There are telling signs in the split of forwards to backs on the bench. Just two – Richard Wigglesworth and Matt Banahan, normally start with numbers higher than eight on their backs. Johnson will expect a massive physical battle, with top-drawer scrummagers on both sides.

Just like against Scotland, the Red Rose will not be creating a game for the purists. Expect ten-man rugby. England don’t win pretty, so who are we to be surprised.

Remembering: Independence Day

2011-09-07T04:12:00.001-04:00

If ever there was a storyline created for the mid-1990s CGI revolution, then it was this. As the early films of the decade phased out (in epic fashion) the animatronic Gremlins and robotic police enforcers of the ‘80s, modern greats such as Jurassic Park and Terminator 2 trail-blazed the use of computer based monsters of biblical proportions.

Independence Day went one better. This wasn’t just a group of sceptical archaeologists in Disneyland-gone-wrong, the Fate Of The World was in David Levinson’s (Jeff Goldblum) hands.

When alien spaceships took station above the world’s greatest cities, it fell upon nerd Levinson to discover what many would have assumed blindingly obvious. He detected what he believed to be messages of war from the aliens and made contact with the President of the United States (Bill Pullman), to warn the world.

What followed were images that changed the way disaster movies were made. First the White House, and then tens of iconic structures around the world were diminished to dust in explosive style.

The human race was in dire straits. Fighter planes couldn’t penetrate the alien force fields, and thousands were being killed by advanced enemy flying machines.

It was time for maverick pilot Captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith) to enter the fold. His headstrong - and at times idiotic – bravery was exactly what was needed to convert Levinson’s theories into reality. The unlikely pair had to unite to save the world. This, coupled with a typically rousing stateside speech from The President, meant that there was a glimmer of hope for humankind.

All the ingredients were there for the ten-year-old me. I’d been watching Will Smith giving high-fives in Bel-Air and seen Goldblum eaten on the toilet bowl by a Tyrannosaurus-Rex. There was comedy in the dryness of Goldblum and brashness of Smith and the mystery of Area 51 was uncovered. There were explosions, tears and heroism.

It built upon director Roland Emmerich’s trail of action packed (if a bit light on storyline) sci-fi endeavours. Other productions, including Universal Soldier and Stargate, had hardly lit alight the box office but they attracted a healthy following. Still today there is a nostalgic appreciation for Emmerich’s films that set advanced science fiction alongside the normal, modern world.

Independence Day set new standards in cinematography that launched more than a decade of CGI-tastic action, and spawned a new wave of disaster movies that went a step further than just a narrow escape. It also helped continue the healthy tradition of cheesy one liners that must have been written before the script materialised (“Today…this will be…our Independence Day!”).

Emmerich’s genius wasn’t to challenge the genre, it was to expose movie goers to action on a scale never seen before. That, and Will Smith muttering “Welcome to Earth” after socking an alien on the nose, will stay with me forever.

Churchill Cup - good idea but never the answer

2011-06-09T08:44:00.003-04:00

The 2011 Churchill Cup commenced this week with England Saxons trouncing USA Eagles while the others scrap amongst what will surely be a runners up spot.

This year’s competition will be the last, so after nine tournaments, what has it achieved? The origins of the cup were as a way to build the sport in tier 2 and 3 countries, but in the main it has been a leisurely run out for England, France and Ireland’s ‘A’ sides.

It has also been almost entirely bankrolled by the RFU, albeit money being something the home union isn’t scared of flitting away.

Money well spent? The sport in the lower tier nations continues to be stagnated, as Denver proved last year. Promotion in the home country was limited to a few fliers and posters along Denver Broadway, hardly the hard sell. There was more excitement from England fans getting to see younger, electric players finally combine in an England shirt.

As a sample, Canada has 16,500 registered players in 2003. Eight years on, that number has risen to more than 22,000 – not that many when you consider the rise in audiences, and the meteoric rise of English registered players from 635,000 to 2,549,196 (okay, there was a RWC win probably involved).

So, if the soon to be defunct Churchill Cup wasn’t the answer, what is? Rugby Sevens is a form of the game that is set to explode with its inclusion in the 2016 Olympics, and smaller rugby nations are proving competitive and even impressive (World Cup winners Fiji and World Series champions Samoa to cite two examples).

But can the short form overtake the fifteen-a-side game in the long term? At the moment, it is still a bit of fun for amateurs during the summer, and rugby is by-and-large a game supported by its players. In England, at least, the tournaments are a great day out, but don’t create the knife-edge atmosphere of setting up for a drop-goal in the 78th minute to win a game. In Sevens, there is simply not enough time for the twists and turns that suck fans into test match rugby.

How about having more games between tier one and the rest? Every four years the smaller teams come to the World Cup, and while in history one or two have surprised, their presence has mainly consisted of a drubbing while the Six Nations and SANZAR stroll towards the quarter- and semi-finals.

Tours don’t happen enough because the likes of Tonga and Samoa simply can’t afford them, and IRB money is hard to come by when playing bases (mainly due to small populations) are hard to come by. The best players move worldwide to follow cash and competitive rugby, which makes it hard to combine an international side enough to be able to train.

In North America, rugby is lost in a sea of acronyms (NBA, NHL, MLB, NFL, MLS) and when a global sport such as football can’t get a foothold in a country built on immigration, what hope does rugby have?

Rugby does continue to grow – TV revenue for the biggest competitions proves that, but what can the IRB do to promote that growth? Answers on a postcard please.

Heineken Cup: Weekend Preview

2011-04-28T07:55:00.004-04:00

Leinster v Toulouse

In many eyes this could be seen as the real decider for this year’s Heineken Cup. Last year Toulouse dumped out the Irishmen at this same stage, and went on to become the champions.

Only Leicester Tigers have won the trophy in two successive years, and the form of Leinster looks set to make that trend continue.

They are rightly favourites for the tournament, and have been playing some scintillating stuff. They’ve lost only once in their last six fixtures, and that was to Magner’s League leaders Munster, and by just one point.

Against Leicester, the Dubliners didn’t need to hit top gear to be victorious. They’ll need to be better than that to get to the final, should Toulouse play the rugby they are capable of.

The three times champions are perched at the summit of the Top 14 but haven’t been the imperious and fearful team of the past. They’ve been exposed on occasion in the league (recently by Toulon, and earlier Stade Francais), while their backs have misfired much more readily than normal.

The real battle will be in the back row. The magnificent Thierry Dusautoir carries French hopes almost single-handedly, although if Yannick Nyanga can play out of his skin then they can compete.

You could say they are up against four world class back-rowers if you include Brian O’Driscoll. Even discounting the legend in the centre, a combination including three of Jamie Heaslip, Shane Jennings, Sean O’Brien and Kevin McLaughlin will be formidable.

Behind the scrum there are many experienced heads, so don’t expect too many mistakes. Leinster will want ask questions of France full-back Clement Poitrenaud. Throughout his career he has been on the verge of world class, but at the moment is going through a distinctly rocky patch. Jonny Sexton possesses a great positional kicking game, and is likely to test the mettle of a full back who is low on confidence and form.

This game will be won by the team that can build from the strongest platform. While the battle in Milton Keynes is a physical one, in Dublin Toulouse need to put pressure on Leinster’s set piece game. They have been convincing in the lineout of late, and in the engine room this season Cian Healy has grown from poor scrummager into Ireland’s foundation stone.

If Toulouse can get amongst Leinster in those vital set-pieces then maybe we’ll finally see Leicester’s double triumph repeated. That is a very big if.

Prediction: Leinster by 7-10 points

Heineken Cup: Weekend Preview

2011-04-27T05:33:00.004-04:00

Northampton v Perpignan

It was just one year ago when these two sides met in the Heineken Cup pool stages. The then French champions had overpowered Saints in the cauldron of the Stade Aimé Giral, before Northampton returned the favour three months later.

At the time, Saints were demonstrating some of the most exciting back play in European rugby. Chris Ashton and Ben Foden were hardly in the international mix, and had an abandon and determination that comes with pushing for England honours.

This year, the team is more experienced, more gnarled. Ashton and Foden are still both devastating, but have added game control and intelligence to their game. With this, in turn, comes caution.

In 2010 the Midlands outfit were a side that went from four try demolitions to being nervously overpowered, now it seems to be the opposite. The forwards have taken on much of the responsibility, and without the England contingent, Saints struggled in the backs. The internationals will be present, so don’t take too much notice of the string of lost games in the Aviva Premiership.

Perpignan have endured an indifferent season in the Top 14, losing 9 of their 25 games. They’ve missed the playoffs, so a Heineken Cup will be their only route into the competition next season. Don’t put too much into that thought, the Catalans will only have Northampton on their minds.

They will think that they have an edge in the half-backs. Nicolas Laharrague and David Mélé didn't really feature in last weekend's loss to Toulon. The France fly-half is much more accomplished than the shaky Stephen Myler. With the man-mountain of Henry Tuilagi chasing down the Northampton outside half, the pressure on him could tell.

Scrum-half Lee Dickson will try to get under the skin of the opposing forwards, but with the language barrier and the experience of the opposition, he has less chance to do this. If Perpignan's power game can build momentum, then Dickson's mediocre passing and game management could come under serious scrutiny.

Perpignan went scoreless the last time they visited the Midlands, they will be making sure they don’t do it again.

This game is desperately poised. It will be a team full of French champions that Northampton meet this weekend, not a lowly Top 14 side. They will need Courtney Lawes, Jon Clarke, Soane Tonga'uiha and James Downey all fired to power to the final, but with a large stadium:mk crowd looking on, they can do it.

Prediction: Northampton Saints by less than 7

English Rugby Needs First Phase Attack

2011-04-23T05:53:00.002-04:00

It happened a fortnight ago and it’s happening again. Picture this; Will Genia picks from the back of the scrum, he takes a couple of those loping strides before offering the ball to the Quade Cooper, on the loop he accepts the return pop, and then on the angle a steaming Luke Morahan slices through and then dives to the ground. Ten seconds, five points.

This is something you see every week in the Super 15. First phase attack play is rife, and it’s magical. While some of the defence in the Southern Hemisphere’s premiere rugby league leaves a lot to be desired, by and large the tackling is good, but the attack moves are better.

Now settle into your seat for a sunny match in England. An attacking set piece, a Number Eight pick up, bosh down the fringes. A pass out, no further than the centre, bosh up the middle. A slow ruck, a dodgy attempt at a kick through by the half back, ricochets and then cleared.

Complaints about imagination and skill in northern hemisphere test matches should be aimed a tier lower. It seems that coaches are sticking with ideas that were taught to them as boys in the amateur era. Hit it up the middle, suck a couple of defenders in, then spin it.

If this is the ethos, then why aren’t scrums and lineouts being used as they are down south? In a ruck you might see two or three grappling for the ball; in the scrum you have eight. First phase attack plays are the best opportunity to use space on the pitch at any point in the game, but in the Aviva Premiership the opportunities are not being taken.

In these months, wet conditions are not an excuse either. Last weekends 41-41 draw between Leicester and Gloucester can probably be attributed to a lot of loose play, rather than incisive attack.

The players are there, and so are the skills. We see in flashes what players can do, deft flicks and searing pace. It is down to the coaches to stop forwards and big centres believing that the only option is the contact.

If the northern hemisphere is ever going to compete with the south, then they need to be positive and consider top class attack.

Carter caps it off?

2011-04-02T10:43:00.001-04:00

When Bath’s Chief Executive Nick Blofeld announced that he would love to have Dan Carter at the Rec, it didn’t take many editors too long to figure out the headline.

But, rather than spelling out ‘Get Carter’ in large sans-serif, they should really have been writing ‘Blofeld To Upset the Apple Carter’.

It doesn’t raise any eyebrows that a competitive Aviva Premiership club, soon to be shorn of one World Cup winning fly-half, should be interested in bringing in another. What Mr Blofeld has cleverly done, however, is show the weakness that English clubs currently have with attracting top talent.

With the salary cap, the top clubs simply cannot afford to take top, current Southern Hemisphere internationals into their teams. The life of a rugby player is too short, and (compared to football) too small pay for a player not to consider salary when they sign their contract.

The Aviva Premiership is missing out on fantastic players coming to these shores, as they more and more opt for France and a massive payday.

Carter was attracted to six months in the cauldron of Perpignan, maybe to experience the French lifestyle; the reported £30,000 a game could have been a deciding factor.

Last season, Carl Hayman was the highest paid Premiership player, on £370,000 a year. He was in a team that was struggling for survival, and he was their one real star turn.

For a regular Heineken Cup qualifier such as Bath, imagine a signing such as Dan Carter on say (should he agree) £400,000 a year. Where does that leave the rest of the squad, including internationals such as Simon Taylor, Lewis Moody, Duncan Bell, Matt Banahan and so on?

An argument for the salary cap has been that it encourages youth development, but in reality it has just meant bringing in cheaper foreign imports, in the twilight of their careers, rather than expose young stars and lose them to the international calendar (and then increased salary demands).

Having said that, I am a pragmatist. British clubs struggled into professionalism, and the sport is still learning with each year that passes. I don’t want to see another Richmond, and even Saracens have looked shaky in their fledgling professional existence.

Can the salary cap be increased? Even a small amount, such as up to £6million would mean that the odd start turn could be enticed to Premiership rugby. This would mean increased interest, gates, and television money. Would the Kiwis still take an interest in Carter should he be plying his trade in the West Country? I should say so.

Mr Blofeld has proven with a throwaway wont that he is playing a different game to the bolshy club owners of the past. With momentum gathering, maybe we’ll see a change in the salary cap sooner rather than later.

Six Nations Round-up

2011-03-21T10:54:00.003-04:00

Another year has passed, and a fourth winner in four years has claimed the Six Nations crown. This speaks volumes for its competitiveness, but says nothing about the standard.

A wholly unconvincing tournament for all teams involved, it was not the spectacle that bodes well for the World Cup. I cast my eye over each team to offer some thoughts on how the tournament went for each:

ENGLAND

Four games do not make a world class side, and the fifth in this tournament proved that. England, to their credit, haven’t believed their own hype, but the Irish match proved that there is a long way to go for this young and developing side.

Apart from deconstructing a limited Italy side, this season’s winners haven’t really demonstrated much to merit their standing. Promise has been the watchword, with incomer Tom Wood being the most notable addition to the side. It will be a shame if it is he, and not James Haskell, who pays the price when Lewis Moody returns.

The most baffling choice has been the complete exemption of Courtney Lawes. Surely, with the future in mind, it would have been better to have a hungry 22-year-old on the bench, rather than the ancient Simon Shaw? We know what the latter can do, so let’s see what the youngster has in store.

FRANCE

It is almost astounding that the capitulating French have finished runners up this year, but no team has been without its fair share of misfortune.

The reigning champions have often had the best players, but can hold Marc Lievremont responsible for their string of below-par displays.

At club level, Les Bleus have the most devastating centre pairing in the Northern Hemisphere. Maxime Mermoz and David Marty know each other inside out, but for some reason the average centre (marvellous wing) Alain Rougerie starts at 13; Sebastien Chabal should have played his last international a year ago.

The positives for this team are that, with their calibre of player, surely they must come good at some point. Their pack is still immense, while at their best, the backs are awesome (Clement Poitrenaud included).

IRELAND

Their championship has mirrored England’s in that they have, for the main, performed quite well. Unfortunately their poor performances have cost them, whereas England scraped through.

The notion that Ireland’s pack is past it is wrong. Paul O’Connell and Donncha OCallaghan form the most experienced second-row in the tournament, and against England they were imperious.

The back-row is as good as any in the world, and when you think that Stephen Ferris is waiting in the wings, then it doesn’t look as if the quality is even going to disappear with injury or loss of form.

This team is still the only one with two convincing fly-halves. Johnny Sexton had his day in the dumps versus Wales, but showed his mettle with a formidable display against England.

No team was impressive in this competition, but on another year, this could have been Ireland’s tournament.

WALES

Fast becoming the most mercurial of failures, the core of Wales squad has no right to be as inconsistent as they are. There are world class players littered all over this squad, but fuzzy headedness seems to be infectious, with James Hook being the most frequent sufferer.

Rather than build into a team, there a more egos in this side than a Sigmund Freud paper. In terms of performances, Wales came up short when they were wonting the most. The final act in France was proof that the team will not make the step up to world beaters in World Cup year.

The return of an in-form Gavin Henson, or a star that can take some pressure from Shane Williams is what this side needs. The parts are all there (minus perhaps some beef at lock and wiliness in the back row), it is up to Warren Gatland to piece them together.

SCOTLAND

For the first time in years, Scotland came into the Six Nations buoyant and confident. How quickly that diminished.

Had the form displayed against France been repeated throughout the tournament, this team could have been looking to the top of the table rather than the bottom. Unfortunately, there simply isn’t enough depth in Scotland to ensure real intensity on the pitch for 80 minutes.

In terms of endeavour, Scotland actually showed plenty. Unlike Italy who tend to play to their own strengths, Andy Robinson has sought Scotland to be more inventive than their quality of player should allow. This is to be commended, and with a little bit more form and luck, Scotland may have celebrated wins against both France and England.

ITALY

A week ago was the watershed moment in Italian rugby. No, it wasn’t away from home. Sadly, it wasn’t an outstanding team performance; Sergio Parisse was once again the talisman of this team and the heartbeat of anything good.

What did happen, however, is that the stars aligned. France capitulated, Italy were grizzled, and Mirco Bergamasco was the calmest kicker in the world (don’t expect to say that twice). A country united behind their rugby team for the first time in years. Italy can now no longer be content with nicking a win against Scotland to get off the bottom of the table.

They almost caught Ireland off guard in the opener, and were only on the end of one drubbing, at Twickenham.

Italy can’t be content with the one win, be it against France or not. They also shouldn’t expect to beat their Latin neighbours again any time soon.

This is the building block on which Italian rugby can push on. With teams in the Magners League, finally Italy can begin to think about a home-grown player base on which to create a national team.

Like Mike?

2011-03-16T15:23:00.001-04:00

Centre of attention will be Mike Tindall this Thursday, when England announces their team to face Ireland. The midfield man has been on the medical bench all week with a strained ankle ligament, and is in a race to get fit for the final slice of the Grand Slam cake.

Cake is an apt analogy, with the team mixture coming together, and stature gradually rising. The recipe isn’t complete, with the Southern Hemisphere still streets ahead of mediocre Europe. England’s squad, too, harbours a couple of bad eggs.

If the target is World Supremacy, then you should look no further than Tindall as someone who is no longer good enough to start and captain England. He is a fine player, and at one point was the hammer to Will Greenwood’s paintbrush as they formed one of the most complete pairings in England history.

Time, however, waits for no one. Not only is Tindall older now, but the game has moved on from bulky man mountains, to a stage where deft hands and distribution are key. The man in the spotlight possesses neither.

On Sunday, it was first reported that Tindall had been substituted for “tactical reasons”. We now know that this likely not the case, but it does give us a slight insight to the thinking of Martin Johnson and his team.

Critics throughout England have been calling for a more dynamic centre for a while, and Matt Banahan’s name has always been one in a pool of about two or three (Manu Tuilagi, Brad Barritt) that is mentioned. For Johnson, admitting that he could take his captain off at half time says that Tindall is by no means safe for a position.

While he sometimes overplays his underarm pass - almost squeezing it out of his armpit – he showed both his physicality (in the unfortunate injury to Kelly Brown) and his desire to offload (one inside ball dropped by James Haskell could have seen a five-pointer chalked up). He is a man in the mould of Sonny Bill Williams. Given a few more tests, the Kiwi might be the man to remould what a centre should be, and Banahan could be hot on his heels.

The future of England’s centres lays in the hands of the big man from Jersey. Here, there are echoes of Ben Foden, Courtney Lawes, Chris Ashton, Ben Youngs…the list goes on. Talented players who wait two years too long for a cap.

Get the man in, because he is the best man for the job.

Scot No Hope?

2011-03-11T16:55:00.002-05:00

England v Scotland

Twickenham, Sunday March 13

Scotland will arrive in South-West London this weekend realistically aiming to escape a battering. Of course, the Calcutta Cup rarely happens like that; England have spoiled many a Grand Slam when they were heavily fancied, so the worst thing they could do here is assume that their opposition is here for the taking.

Expect a step up in Scottish aggression as they shoulder maximum ferocity, but minimal expectation. In their opening match against France, they showed that they can impressive with a running game. However, England will not be as leaky in defence as they were against France, or as France were against Scotland.

In truth, Scotland are not as bad a team as the table would tell you. They were impressive against France, poor against Wales, resilient against Ireland. The core of the team has the capability to cause England problems, and the home side have yet to be really tested, and still come away with a victory.

England are constantly harangued by media and fan alike, and if they don’t win (and by a margin), then disgruntlement is likely to ensue ahead of a tricky away visit to Dublin. On Sunday they will want to encounter the Scotland team that won in Argentina, not that lost against Wales. They will be confident that they have supremacy in every area of the pitch, which means that the only thing Scotland can do is create a scrap.

The home team to face the Auld Enemy was as expected, minus the name of Courtney Lawes being on their bench. The mind boggles as to why Simon Shaw, at 37-years-old and shaking off injury niggles, is preferred to the Northampton man who is champing at the bit. While I agree that the younger shouldn’t walk back in to the starting 15, some Six Nations game time would surely have been beneficial if he is (assumedly) to be in the frame for the potential Grand Slam decider against Ireland.

Another relative novice who did get the nod is Alex Corbisiero. He only really features here due to a string of injuries, but should not be fazed by what is an unformidable Scottish front row. With the match being on a day of rest, the man who could have caused problems in the scrummage, Euan Murray, doesn’t feature.

Johnnie Beattie is still the one ‘B’ missing from Scotland’s back-row trio. Nathan Hines comes in at blindside flanker, a role that he has filled with great effectiveness in the past.

The Key

The battle of the back-rows is going to make the difference here. Competition at the breakdown is going to be intense, as Scotland will look to slow English ball down and England to turnover Scottish attacking rucks.

Scotland are not short of pace in their backline, so it will be paramount that England suck in opposition players to rucks, creating spaces for line breaks that Chris Ashton is so well known for.

The Player

Kelly Brown (Scotland)
The experienced Saracen will aim to have claws in every ruck, agitating Ben Youngs and forcing England to play more conservatively with their one-up carries. The big man is also capable of putting in the occasional big hit. He will need to lead Scotland in physicality, and try to unsettle England in the same way that South Africa did in the Autumn.

Scotland are no South Africa, but England have not yet shown the consistency or met a brutal challenge in this year’s Six Nations – a shock is possible.

England Boost Not Needed?

2011-03-08T16:25:00.003-05:00

England received a boost today ahead of the weekend’s Six Nations game with Courtney Lawes and Tom Croft returning to the squad. The question is, are they needed?

Neither has featured in this year’s competition, and their replacements have proved to more than adequate. In the case of Tom Palmer, incredible would be a more apt word.

There had been worries of Tom Croft’s craft being missed in the lineout, yet in their three matches so far, only one lineout has been lost in each. Added to that, Palmer has been irrepressible in the loose, coupling with the sturdy Louis Deacon in a solid scrum and doing great work in the tight.

Deacon has dismissed conspiracy theories that the Tiger on his club shirt was the only thing earning him one emblazoned with a Rose. He has worked hard to become more dynamic around the park and has complemented the more illustrious performers such as Nick Easter and James Haskell.

What would Lawes offer that this pairing doesn’t already have covered? Against Scotland, expect to see the youngster come off the bench for a tiring Palmer, rather than a workmanlike Deacon. It would be a mistake to start the returning Northampton lock; finally, a place in the England shirt has to be earnt – which also means that to an extent it needs to be lost. Neither Palmer or Deacon have lost their shirt, and against Exeter, Lawes did not do enough to earn his.

For the same reason, Croft cannot start at the weekend either. While he has never been as peerless as he was in South Africa in 2009, he has still been England’s chief lineout operative and done some great work in the loose around the pitch.

His direct competition is Tom Wood. To drop this Northampton star would be to take away one of the star performers of the Six Nations so far. He has emulated Richard Hill in the way he has picked apart opposing rucks, tackling endlessly and doing a lot of the “unsung work” (this itself is so overused a phrase that perhaps there is no longer any work not heralded in rugby).

In the long term there could be a reshuffle of the back row, with Haskell being the obvious casualty. With 6 and 7 being more and more similar as the modern game looks for complete players, Croft and Wood are both mobile enough to do either role. Wood with his energy would be my pick at openside flanker, with Croft taking the blindside.

Centre of Attention

My pick for the England inside centre, Olly Barkley, is now ruled out for the rest of the season, which means that replacements for the average Shontayne Hape, and the aged Mike Tindall are dwindling.

Since watching Matt Banahan’s hat-trick against Northampton a fortnight ago, I have become convinced that the man mountain from Jersey has more than an underarm offload to boast about. He is both more direct and more aware than our resident Kiwi centre, and has more pace than World Cup winner Tindall.

Next season will be Manu Tuilagi’s season, which would mean a potentially world class midfield is a year late to face it.

With no real contender for the inside centre role, I think a considerable choice might be Leicester’s Anthony Allen. By no means a showpiece player, he has the gristle that Welford Road affords a player, while he possesses greater distribution than Hape.

Britain No Longer A Military Power

2011-03-02T16:26:00.005-05:00

Since the turn of 2011, the world has faced unprecedented upheaval in North Africa.

As Colonel Gaddafi shakes fits and spits tirades at his people, and neighbouring countries Tunisia and Egypt make tentative inroads into democracy, it is no surprise that David Cameron has come under criticism for his scaling back of Britain’s armed forces.

In October’s Strategic Defence Review (SDSR), Mr Cameron announced that spending in the armed forces would fall by 8pc in four years, meaning 42,000 jobs lost and the scrapping of aircraft carriers and Harrier Jets. Britain would be unable to fly from aircraft carriers until 2019.

Yesterday, Bernard Jenkin, Conservative MP for Essex, told Sky News that such cuts would leave the UK with “little political leverage”. He attacked the PM, stating that he had made a “wrong call” on sea capability and that “Sea Harriers would be ideal” in an operation against Col Gaddafi.

Mr Jenkin is taking a view that British armed forces should be used as a correctional facility, to be flown in to unstable zones to put things straight. Would he also agree with British involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan?

If Britain interfered in the Libya situation, they would be wrong to do so. The people of Libya are speaking, and their uprising is something that will shape and develop their country for centuries to come. This is for Libyans to take control of their own destiny, not for The West to ensure they get their man in for the job.

It is telling that politicians have for decades been seen rubbing shoulders with despots such as Mubarak and Gaddafi. It is only as they see the power of these men diminish that they look to act in the interests of democracy. This pre-emptive action is something that should be left in the middle ages; a stronger, more stable democratic Libya will be created if the citizens of that country achieve it themselves.

Mr Jenkin’s criticisms of the SDSR see Britain as taking a leading role in military action. Unfortunately, we no longer hold that capability, in either manpower or economic muscle. We would be but a supporting role in anything the United States or China decides. Our “political leverage” in the modern world of warfare is in the form of Europe. Here, our economic power and imperial history still give us a real say in decisions, and it is here that we should look.

Creating a united European army is a part of a relinquishment of sovereignty I think is realistic. If only peaceful countries allied, then they would all act in the interests of a safe and protected Europe. This way there would be an armed force, independent of the US and stronger in force than NATO, which can act in the interests of Europe.

That way, a lost carrier and some Harriers would not be the end of a safe and protected Britain.

Time for Invention and Confidence

2011-02-27T13:03:00.003-05:00

In a sporting weekend where rugby was competing with both of England’s other most prominent sports (a flabbergasting Carling Cup final, and nail biting cricket World Cup encounter), only the results proved to be anything of interest for the budding Red Rose supporter.

In greasy conditions England stuttered their way to a win in what was billed as the game of the tournament, Wales were unimpressive in Rome and Scotland almost stole a victory with the most limited of backlines against Ireland. It was not a weekend for thrilling, that was for sure; when attracting fans to our glorious sport, these games must involve skills and conviction light years ahead of what was demonstrated.

In recent years rugby has been in a balancing act of tradition versus excitement. The ELVs have come and all but gone. In England’s largest stadiums, club games have attracted all and sundry to cheap Premiership encounters. Along with those, jeers for kickers has been introduced, disgusting Mexican waves involving soggy cardboard drinks trays have littered the air, and the seasoned rugby supporter (and drinker) finds himself sitting next to a comatose lout with no clue of the sport, who has come because they’ll “watch anything for a tenner”.

I have nothing but praise for the premise of teams like London Wasps and Saracens. Rugby Old Boys have held the top level of the sport within the dark ages for much too long, nervous of footballers' wages and player power. The Premiership needs innovative and ambitious owners, but at the expense of the soul of fans and sport? I think not. Rowdy yobs are not needed here.

What the games at Wembley and Twickenham give to the game is an introduction, but the loss leading approach cannot continue if rugby is to ensure that established fans are not turned off. Also, the intensity of viewing crowds must be upheld. In sporting respects, 15 000 ardent fans is better than 50 000 ambivalent ones.

On the whole, it is refreshing to see new ideas and new business approaches. More fans will ultimately lead to a more competitive sport at the highest level, and that is something we all want to see.

It isn’t just the owners who have held rugby back. Stephen Jones, for The Times has written in today’s column of this England squad lacking gravitas, and that the “team from a distance are too full of themselves, not of intensity.” He also spoke of Chris Ashton’s “grating celebrations” being far more of an insult than harmless jibing.

These are the words of a man steeped in wet, cold mornings at Maidenhead RFC, watched the thirds play the fourths; they are not those of his grandson who is just finding out about the sport. Jones the Older sees over-confident, laddish jokers who make a mockery of gristled forwards and cheeky backs of yesteryear. Jones Junior sees smiling, enthusiastic men, enjoying their rugby, and winning Test matches while they’re at it.

There has been an air of despondence around this England camp for far too long. The happiness and relaxedness that oozes through the current team is fantastic. Let Stephen Jones have his pint of ale with those stuffy RFU bosses his often complains about, I’ll be cheering my club and country as Ashton entertains on both fronts.

Cipriani Was Never The Messiah

2011-02-18T08:19:00.004-05:00

The Waratahs introduced Melbourne Rebels to Super Rugby with a hefty thump and the odd deft hand on Friday. This wasn’t such a surprise, with the visitors being highly fancied for this year’s competition and the hosts being novices.

Of course, back in England the headlines have all been dominated by Danny Cipriani’s involvement (or lack thereof).

The former Wasps man cannot be blamed solely for Friday’s game. He is but one cog in a young machine, and the Rebels will definitely improve with their top coaching staff and sprinkling of quality players.

Yet, remind me, what has this boy actually done to receive such reverence and attention? It is an English media blight that has affected everyone from Tom Daley to Jack Wilshere - it seems that one show of brilliance marks you out as the next great thing.

Cipriani hasn’t demonstrated enough to warrant such treatment; one international performance does not a star make. At Wasps, mainly as a full-back, he cut some fine lines and threw the odd fancy pass. He also had some high-profile punts charged down, and missed more tackles than Jonny Wilkinson has meditation sessions.

One thing is true here - Cipriani was right to go to Australia to try and experience a new tempo of rugby, and a change of outlook. Martin Johnson was also right not to pick Cipriani when the media was hankering for his inclusion.

Has Cipriani controlled games as effectively as other young, English fly-halves like Owen Farrell? Nope.

Has he demonstrated improvement in his lacking areas, such as a limited Toby Flood who is now a stable choice for England? Not as far as I can see.

The lad from London is too much of a risk to have in at international level. What Super Rugby will highlight over the coming weeks is, simply, Cipriani just ain’t that good.

UK Needs Reform, Not Revolution

2011-02-07T09:47:00.004-05:00

Already it appears that Reform and Revolution will be the Zeitgeist of 2011, and we're only six weeks in.

Tunisia took to the streets, closely followed by neighbour Egypt. These have been written about comprehensively elsewhere, but serve of notice that there is a global sea of unrest; an unexpected side-effect of the West’s campaign for world democracy perhaps?

Closer to home, the Tories are looking to scrap the notorious Asbo. Add into that mix sweeping reforms for health care, teaching, policing and you name it, our government seems to have taken a leaf out Henry VIII’s book when it comes to making subtle changes.

The problem is that now it appears that the Lib-Con partnership looks like an unwieldy maniac, seeing Labour Red in all directions, and on a desperate mission to eradicate any evidence of the previous government’s existence. Andrew Lansley, Michael Gove, Caroline Spelman – all three have had to make u-turns on announced policies, with the latter fudging over the topic and explaining that she was merely in consultation after all.

When the coalition came in, change was needed. People were unhappy with elections, the deficit, controversial wars and MPs’ expenses, to name a few.

For the government to maintain credibility it should put its own stamp on its tenure, but also openly continue Labour policies that actually worked. I for one think that possibly something of the last fourteen years should remain.

Old School Aspiration is Back

2011-01-18T06:43:00.003-05:00

Last week Michael Gove announced his plans to introduce the English Baccalaureate, a qualification given to those who attain GCSEs (A*-C) in English, Maths, a science, a foreign language and a humanities subject.

What it aims to do is give children an incentive to excel in the “hard” subjects, putting emphasis on these core skills, rather than, say, media studies.

Yvonne Roberts (Guardian, January 13) has criticised the move, saying, broadly, that less academic children will suffer as they lose heart, if and when they fail to make the grade.

Rarely am I a staunch supporter of Gove’s education policies, but for once I fall on his side of the fence.

Foreign countries have shown through their own education systems that the level of teaching, and the drive given through good parenting, is what is needed if a child is to succeed. The subject matter could almost be seen as irrelevant.

For too long the attitude has been that if children are failing, give them something easier so they can be a success. This has been to the detriment of our education system.

In other countries, if you don’t have an academic mind, you become a carpenter, or a builder, or another trade. These are all very respectable and skilled, and not necessarily in need of a media or English degree.

This is how our system should operate. If a child is not academic, they don’t send them to university to study media, or Zombie Studies, or whatever ridiculous course has been invented at the University College Scunthorpe.

The English Baccalaureate helps to do that. It encourages children to aim higher, for parents to encourage their children (and if they don’t, why is that the fault of the state?), and for graduates, or apprentices, to excel in whatever given talent they have.

Tigers 1-1 Saints...and both heading for the final

2011-01-11T13:44:00.001-05:00

As the dust settled on the glistening turf at Welford Road, we were left to contemplate the battle we had just seen, and my God were we impressed.

If you look at purely the score, you might assume that Saints were well beaten. You would be wrong.

Two losses in a row looks like the wheels are coming off the wagon, but what both Leicester and Northampton proved is that they are streets ahead of the rest of the Aviva Premiership.

Leicester demonstrated what they have always done - they showed they have the class and knowhow to pile on points on the board, even if their opposition feel that they are in the ascendancy.

Northampton needed to prove that they can match Leicester up front in terms of intensity and skill, which they did. On another day – at a different ground – this could have swung the other way. Tigers rise for the big matches, and to be beaten at home by the impressive Saints just wouldn’t do.

For Northampton, there were pluses and minuses (besides the result) that can be used to build towards the playoffs. They rallied well after losing both Courtney Lawes and Chris Ashton early on. They will need to once again show that their squad as the class throughout, as they are now without the towering England lock for a significant period.

Mistakes were made in the handling, but at the breakdown and scrum Saints were impeccable. If they had been better in the lineout, then perhaps they would be celebrating a win away at Welford Road.

If Dylan Hartley wants to nail down an international place for good, then he is going to need to prove that the big games don’t give him the heebie geebies. George Skivington and teammates did give plenty of competition for Hartley to worry about, but he surely cost Northampton the game and bragging rights.

The biggest plus is that Saints dispelled my greatest fear that they would, like last year, be found out as a team that shows potential but when it comes time to bite the bullet, they come up lacking.

This game didn’t show that. It could still almost be seen as a master and apprentice show, but it was never going to be easy to topple a Leicester side in good nick and high spirits.

Even the neutral will be salivating at what will surely be an East Midlands Aviva Premiership Final on May 28.

Tigers the Real Test

2011-01-06T16:02:00.003-05:00

So has the Saints’ march to their first Aviva Premiership title merely tripped over a divot, or are they now teetering on a precipice, ready to drop down the table?

Harlequins clipped their wings last weekend at Franklin’s Gardens. It wasn’t quite a shock result, but it was definitely an upset. However, if Stuart Barnes is to be believed, the East Midlands table-toppers have had this coming for a few weeks.

This isn’t a theory that I buy into. The forward power of Northampton has demolished many teams this season, but in all games they have had their weaknesses. Star performers Soane Tonga'uiha and Brian Mujati have ran lines that would make England flyers Ben Foden and Chris Ashton raise eyebrows, and the large Tongan has the offloading skill of an All Black.

It is no secret that their scrum has been paramount; but 2010 was the season of the scrum. First England in Australia, and now Northampton in Cardiff, the scrum has re-emerged as a demolishing tool when used to its full potential.

Yet it isn’t solely power that Saints have reverted to. They are still scoring tries from all over the pitch, and their back line has a great mix of power in the midfield versus skill on the wings.

But let’s not get too caught up in what the Saints do and don’t possess. On paper they have a title winning side, but they could always be beaten – Harlequins were more the recipients of the when not the why.

It is better for them to be beaten mid season, against a potential playoff rival. It gives the players some revenge and improvement to think about.

The real test is Saturday, versus the rivals from up the A5199 – reigning Champions Leicester Tigers.

Sneak a win, and the title challenge will be straight back on track. Even a small loss wouldn’t be the end of the world.

The danger is that if Leicester use all their wily old ways, their winning know-how, then they could dent the confidence of the Saints in a way that they have often done down the years. They are generally the dominant force in the East Midlands, and will not want to lose their hold readily.

If Saints are overpowered, or bullied, that is when the alarm bells will really win. It is always going to be Leicester who they need to overpower if they are to have any hope of winning the title.

How will they do it?

Well, the Tigers are not likely to miss the one-up tackles, and they are past masters of nullifying the swiftest of backlines. It is going to come down to the usual performers up front – can they get the better of their rivals?

The front row battle is most enticing of the Premiership season so far. Castro must be the best scrummager in the world, while Tonga'uiha is a man-mountain who makes as many carries as a loose forward.

Phil Dowson and Tom Wood will also need to be brilliant on the floor and in defence as they look to get the better of Thomas Waldrom, who is the form back-row of the league.

It is an enthralling prospect. Win, and Harlequins will be long forgotten; be bullied, then take a look at where London Irish were a couple of seasons ago, and get nervous.

What happened to Great Britons?

2011-01-03T08:51:00.001-05:00

The names included in each New Year’s honours list says a lot about what and who we value in modern Britain.

For this year’s list, of the 997 nominees, 74pc of people are reported as being ‘local heroes’. This ranges from beekeepers to philanthropists to the Bridge Master at Tower Bridge.

Many people in the list deserve an award, none more so than Annie Lennox – who received an OBE for her work campaigning against AIDs as an Oxfam ambassador.

She was possibly one of only a handful of famous faces that I would say deserved an award. Not only did she export a new era of British pop music during her time with Eurythmics, she has put her fame to one side to do the kind of work that should make many of us Britons both proud that she is of our nation, and shameful that we don’t do everything we can to help solve problems in the third world.

She embodies what an honour given from the highest authority in Great Britain should be – someone we can look up to and who sets an example to us all.

Yet that is where the problem lies with modern Honours lists. Too often knighthoods, CBEs, OBEs and the rest are handed out for moments in time, rather than overall achievement.

Howard Webb was handed an award for his role in the World Cup final of 2010. But surely his reward for doing this was being the referee at the World Cup final? Golfer Graeme McDowell was handed an MBE for his exploits – within a team – at this year’s Ryder Cup. He ended the year as number 6 player in the world.

These, and many other sportsmen (2005 cricketers, 2003 rugby players) have made us proud and brought us together, but their reward was, for one day in one competition, coming off with a bit more luck and a bit more skill than another bunch of blokes.

This isn’t what the greatest honours our country can behest should be.

Cameron Right to Keep Warmongering Cable

2010-12-21T15:08:00.002-05:00

It had seemed for a period this afternoon that Vince Cable would be under immense pressure to step down as Business Secretary. The problem would be this: if he allowed News Corp’s takeover of BSkyB, he would be seen as a weakling, backtracking on his convictions in order to please those around him, bowing to the outside pressure.

If he stuck to his guns, then he would be a biased bull in a china shop; behind doors smashing anything in his path.

In the end, it was David Cameron who stepped in. For the umpteenth week in a row, he dismissed the utterances of someone else in this government or party, and sought to resolve the situation with as little fuss as possible.

It was a shrewd move to strip Cable of the one issue that today was forcing him out of his job. Now that he doesn’t have any sway in this situation, it looks good on Cameron threefold;

He can’t be seen to be pandering to big corporation and, in particular, BSkyB/News Corp – a partner he was accused of being in bed with before the election.

He again applies some sticky glue to the coalition, keeping one of the hard-hitters that, pre-partnership, had vehemently opposed Labour and Conservative fiscal policy, and captured the public support in the process.

For his party, Cameron has saved the architect behind the new university fees system, something that is important as Cameron attempts to deflect criticism towards his central circle of friends and advisers.

In the end, it was the correct decision. The coalition lives on for another day, albeit beginning to look quite unsteady given the amount of wobbles it has had.

Cable himself is someone who is in a very tough position. As a member of the weaker side of the coalition, he faces a constant battle (along with all other Lib Dem MPs) between what his heart and conscience tell him, and what line he must tow for the good of the government and the country. One slip doesn’t make him an untrustworthy politician, or someone who is bad at his job.

If Wikileaks is to be believed, then it actually appears that diplomats, government officials, and even politicians, have views of their own. Is it such a crime that Cable showed his ‘constituents’ what he actually thought? Wouldn’t this approach make him more trustworthy, and allow voters to actually meet the real person that they will be voting for?

Hughes displays conviction and nous

2010-12-09T14:19:00.005-05:00

Simon Hughes abstaining from the vote on student fees is going to attract a fair bit of attention over the next day or two. In the end, the ‘ayes’ won by 21 votes, a notable number when you consider that 28 MPs abstained – those who more than likely would, in a less formal situation, have voted against the government proposals.

However, it would be unfair to criticise Mr. Hughes on his decision not to vote. Despite being a fierce defender of the liberal left, he is still uncomfortably a member of the Coalition, and a prominent one at that. This means that he faces a balancing act.If he had voted against the proposals, there may have been calls for a resignation, having gone directly against his party leader. This would be a mistake. He is a counter-balance for Nick Clegg’s seemingly more centre viewpoints, and he is needed in this coalition to keep the Liberal Democrats’ identity.

He is reported as having been a very studious listener on the subject of fees, and he definitely considered many arguments from both side before making a decision on his vote. In the end, he was backed into a corner where he could either abandon a party that, in another life, would have still staunchly opposed the rise in student fees, or he could look at the wider consideration and think that it is more progressive and constructive to merely abstain, and paper over inevitable cracks that have emerged between the Tories and Lib Dems.

Irrespective of the outlook, a politician that believes in what he is fighting for is the most effective politician; but in these strange new times, compromise is the word on many lips.

Clegg may be rightly under fire from voters who voted Lib Dem and still got a raise in fees, but people would be wrong to attack his deputy for just believing in something, yet having the forethought to think of the wider, cooperative future.

Sorry Mr Johnson, I am for real!

2010-11-25T09:45:00.004-05:00

He’s been an England Outkast since the summer tour to New Zealand two years ago, but with a lot of the talk being about England’s midfield this autumn, isn’t it about time Olly Barkley was reconsidered?

England have been pulsating against Australia, showing dynamism in the pack that had already been consistently showcased in the Midlands, with Mr. Lawes taking a bucket load of credit. They have also passed another type of test against Samoa, withstanding the physical battle to emerge from a tricky encounter.

But as the English cake-mix begins to merge and rise, there is still a sticky point to the final recipe – the centres.

It seems that England are prepared to go for any Bath player in the centre bar their star turn. In commentary of Bath vs. Saracens last Friday, he was described as the “barometer of the team”. Quite true, as admittedly he is a player that can sometimes be as fallible as is he sublime – but it is the latter quality that the English midfield lacks, and a quality that the England management prefers to ignore.

The current preferred centre pairing of Shontayne Hape and Mike Tindall possesses a great amount of muscle and toil, but not much endeavour. Delon Armitage, a player with great spark when in the comfort of London Irish green, was given just cameos of the bench this autumn, and doesn’t even feature on the bench against South Africa.

His replacement, Matt Banahan, could be England’s answer to Sonny-Bill Williams, but is unproven at the highest level in this position. He is quick and direct, and could potentially be a 13 for many years.

But it is Barkley that remains the conundrum. He is so far off England’s radar that the Bermuda Triangle looks like the local park. It would take about 9 or 10 injuries for the player to be considered, yet he is definitely not the ninth or tenth best centre in the country. He is a proven goal kicker, who can send over shots from the halfway line. He is also a good distributor, someone who can take the ball as first receiver and get it to our strike runners quickly and effectively.

There are thoughts about his defence – but did you see Quade Cooper making any tackles against England a couple of weeks ago? One player does not a defence make, but this is probably one of the largest reasons Barkley is ignored by England.

Tackles apart, if England want an option of attack in the middle of the park, they need to look away from players like Tindall and Hape, and bring in Barkley or even Shane Geraghty (if he resembles his form of a couple of years ago).

My preferred pairing, over time, would be Barkley and Banahan. The towering wing-cum-centre has soft hands that defy his enormous strength and speed. With these two we can either unlock the door, or batter it down; a great combination to take to New Zealand next year.

Wounded Tiger Needs to Keep Its Head

2010-11-23T06:26:00.006-05:00

Ireland’s turmoil is ongoing as cost cutting measures amounting to £13 billion were announced today. The country is cash-strapped, so a bailout looked more and more inevitable, and was no surprise when the application was made on Monday.

What is worrying is that now it has becoming a Europe-wide political battle. The UK will be making its own manoeuvres as it decides where it can help, and where it will refrain. It is a wise decision to aid the bailout in this instance, due to our economic links with Ireland and its banks. To follow suit with potentially Portugal, Spain and Italy would be a mistake.

The Eurozone is shaky, but we simply don’t have the resources or incentive to send more money into a failing currency that we opted out of.

What would be a massive mistake, however, would be if Ireland were to hold a general election in the midst of this.

Politically, the call was certainly an obvious move for John Gormley and Eamon Ryan of Ireland’s Green Party. As the weaker side of a coalition, they are looking to wrestle power from Prime Minister Brian Cowen’s Fianna Fáil party, and with the country on its knees, what better time?

The problem here is that the problem in itself is not political. It is an economic issue that has affected the world, and in some areas, even the greatest financial minds would not have averted it.

On the contrary, Cowen was Bertie Ahern’s Minister for Finance as the Celtic Tiger growled and prowled across Europe and the world. The Irish model was one to behold, and was rightly praised by George Osbourne during the good times. It is easy with hindsight to criticise, but when the world was doing well, Ireland were one of the best at holding onto the coattails of grand economic success.

For there to be a general election now, a country would be turned on its head. Political change would mean that countless programmes and progress would be scrapped or remodelled, millions of Euros will be spent restructuring policies and creating laws – laws that probably wouldn’t change a great deal.

Brian Cowen must now be a strong leader, and make the hard decisions. He has already made two, with the bailout and £13bn cuts announced today. Economic policy must be fore-thinking, headstrong and most importantly bipartisan.

Now it is time for the politics to take a back seat, and for Ireland’s leaders to redeem their country.

The English Train on the Right Tracks

2010-11-15T11:23:00.004-05:00

Some will say that it is a win that sparked a new era in English rugby; a cataclysmic explosion starting with the delving hands of Tom Palmer and ending with the finger of Chris Ashton, pointing to the gods as he dived over the whitewash for the most astounding try seen at Twickenham in years.

A magnificent try it was - and a magnificent game too - but this wasn't England exploding onto the international scene. This was the litmus paper of progress, turning from an unenthusiastic beige, to a startling red as the fires of English passion raged. It was a long process - too long - but finally the England rugby team look as though they are coming together.

The frustration is that most of the young stars of Saturday have been showing their skills for at least two years, while under performing others held their shirts in the England side. Prime examples have to be Courtney Lawes, Chris Ashton and the impeccable Ben Youngs. Surely these players should have been in the England setup a year before they were, and then we may have been seeing scenes like this in the autumn of 2009, not 2010.

In some respects Martin Johnson was correct, however, to persevere with some. If the media had had its way, Nick Easter would be supping ale in the stands, with a Saturday off, rather than bulldozing Australian fodder on the rugby pitch. This November, and throughout the club season so far, he has proven that his is not the negative English Eight of yesteryear, but a dynamic and forward thinking rugby brain.

It is now about finding the balance between bullishness and experimentation. Mike Tindall and Shontayne Hape played their hearts out, but still look fairly one-dimensional in the middle of the park. There are a lack of options; Shane Geraghty needs to prove himself further at Northampton, while teammate Jon Clarke hasn't looked ready to take a step up to international rugby; Brad Barritt and Dominick Waldouck appear in the same vein as their rivals for the shirt, bashing up the middle, but no real creativity in the ilk of the flaky Geraghty; Olly Barkley would be my choice at 12, but with not even a bench warmed for him in the Saxons, it will be a mountain to climb for him to make a difference.

So, with this in mind, you have to feel that while the current centre pairing isn't the best, there isn't much else that can change.

No team will ever be perfect, but the more you look at this England squad, the more you can see it gradually evolving into a very good side. World Cup next year? It would be far too early to even whisper it. All that can be said is that this is one step in the right direction, and it looks like the next step is coming.

News For The Masses

2010-11-09T05:23:00.003-05:00

Today was a day awash with hard hitting news stories, issues that really affect us, and help us to learn and shape the world around us.

George W Bush gave a startling account in his memoirs of a range of controversial moments in time; human rights issues arose with ‘waterboarding’, the ‘Special Relationship’ with Tony Blair was again nudged into the spotlight and the US Government’s disastrous handling of the horror of Hurricane Katrina were all included.

Overcrowding on trains was another story that will affect commuters, and highlight the significant lack of money in the coffers of our leaders.

These, and many other important stories are emblazoned across television, newspapers and online media, reaching more people than ever before, more easily than ever before. Hail the age of news, when you want it, where you want it.

And the story deemed most important by the nervous public, scrabbling their loose change for the weekly shop, scouring their bank account for funds that will help them to the end of the month?

At the top of the Most Read list on the BBC website this morning: "Widdecombe Will Not Quit Strictly”.

Midterm Report Mediocre...as expected

2010-11-04T09:42:00.004-04:00

It was never going to be an easy night for Barack Obama on Tuesday, and there weren’t too many surprises. The question, following the loss of the House and weakening of the Senate, is where does it leave the President and the Democrats?

The US economy is faring even worse than the UK’s at present, so it was inevitable that the government was to take the blame. Obama has risked his credibility on sweeping reforms to the healthcare system. Looking from across the pond, it seemed unfathomable to us that a Team NHS in the US got faced with such backlash – but this isn’t Britain, and in America there is a much stronger feeling of identity in politics. You can wave goodbye to the Centre Ground.

Whisper the word socialism and you may as well be wearing a red cloak and holding a hammer and sickle. After the Cold War, antipathy to the left is ingrained.

Obama had tread carefully and spoken of change and togetherness, but to impose a governmental control on the most sacred of American money spinners was to declare war on Capitalism and the very roots of the country.

The worry now is that, while Obama has spent the last two years rebuilding trust in America from the outside world, this will be diminished by the outright partisanship of the incoming Republicans of the House. John Boehner held back nothing when talking of repealing the government’s work on healthcare, and it is probable that his party colleagues will follow suit.

The President would have seen this coming, and has made sure that he has done most of the work that he wanted to before these midterms. But he looks tired, almost reluctant, to carry the fight for another two years.

It is now up to the Democrats to decide where they want to take their policy. Do they continue on the last foams of the tidal wave of change? Or will they look for stability and familiarity ahead of looking to hold the White House in 2012?

Exercise can be fun?

2010-11-02T05:42:00.002-04:00

It would hypocritical for me to preach on the ideals of exercise and diet (I have a mediocre-at-best relationship with both), but with numerous visits to the gym, runs along the canal, daily intakes of fruit and Innocent smoothies, I feel I am finally reaching the promised land of being at ease with my body.

Whisper it, but I have still been enjoying my wine, and boozy weekends with friends. I’ve been interspersing my feta and ham salads with chicken shawarmas and the odd chicken burger – but such is the appeal of life.

I may not be quite there yet, but soon I will have found that happy medium between health and fun. It isn’t down to ridiculous diets, it owes to me seeing some green in my food, and not eating chocolate every chance I get. I don’t run a marathon every morning before work; I walk the two miles to the office, and try to get in a couple of jogs a week. It isn’t taking over my life.

This is what I like about ‘Fat Families’, a slightly tongue-in-cheek and grossly derogatory show on Sky1 that sorts out groups of fatties and tightens them up. The programmes presenter, Steve Miller, was overweight in a previous life, and so takes it upon himself to preach the virtues of healthy living; yet he does it in a way that is fun, doesn’t make the subjects feel pathetic. It’s a breath of fresh air from the fascist overhaul of poo-fondling Gillian McKeith, or military hardship of Fat Camp.

Exercise can be fun, and don’t expect to go from rotund to robust in one swoop. I’m half way there, or maybe just a third – just ramp up the intensity when you feel you are ready.

Browne and out

2010-10-10T09:31:00.003-04:00

With Lord Browne set to release a report this week, advising the government to allow university fees to raise to as much as £10,000pa, public discontent has once again raised it's weary head.

The idea is that those graduates earning higher salaries later in life will contribute more to the payment of the fees. There has been talk of the "broader shoulders carrying the heavier load", but what exactly will that mean for the British (read English and Welsh) Higher Education system?

Universities are already bloated with academically deficient students, with hearts set on a degree fuelled with alcohol and promiscuousness. Therein lies the problem with university funding, not the fact that the cleverest scientists and doctors aren't paying enough for their education.

Some universities have said that the extra costs will merely cover lost government support - this support should be spread out over less degrees (get rid of 'Surfing Studies') and concentrate on educating the cleverest.

By this, I don't mean 'the richest'. With less university places, more money from the pot can go towards bursaries and grants, helping clever-yet-disadvantaged adolescents reach their intellectual goals.

Back to the Browne report - what is this probable structure hoping to achieve? Apparently, it will relieve the tax payer of the burden of subsidising graduates. This in itself is an unfair goal. With graduates (still) earning on average £100,000 more over a lifetime, their contributions to the tax system will far outweigh those of the lower earners. We need to keep clever, articulate, driven graduates coming our of the university system, as these are the people that drive the economy forward.

University access shouldn't be about inclusionist ideals. Some clubs just aren't meant to have open doors. Keep the costs within reason, stop allowing students in who don't have a capacity to learn, and let's put our universities back on the top of the world where they belong.

Points of order in the Premiership

2010-09-07T13:12:00.003-04:00

A new season of Premiership rugby union came in with a bang, following suit with the South Hemisphere with a plethora of scintillating scores and hatfull of skillful handling. Over the opening weekend, over 100 more points were scored this year than in 2009. Last year, 184 points were amounted in six games, last weekend, 286 were chalked up for the twelve teams.

On the evidence of this weekend's Aviva Premiership results, Northampton Saints look set to benefit from the new law interpretations that should favour attacking, ambitious, running sides. Their win against Leicester was nothing short of impressive, yet not surprising given results at Franklin's Gardens in recent years.

It wasn't just the likes of Ben Foden and Chris Ashton that took advantage of the running rugby, as three tries were scored by props.

Northampton are not the only team who can handle the ball and get over the gain-line at pace, however. Saracens showed, for 40 minutes, the form that booked them a place in the final last season, and Steffon Armitage knocked yet again on the international door with a commanding game on the floor. London Irish showed the full range of their class, from a fragile and nervous first half to an inspired, yet sometimes lucky, second 40 minutes.

The best of the rest was definitely Exeter, who burst into the top league with a win over stuttering Gloucester. They must pick up every point they can get, and it will surely be a dogfight for the West Countrymen. They'll give themselves every chance with performances like Saturday's.

Blair Unchallenged by Young Pretenders

2010-09-02T16:35:00.004-04:00

Sitting across from Andrew Marr last night was a man who was statesmanlike, contemplative yet stood for nothing that his former colleagues seemed to signify.

Tony Blair's views on Iraq were well formed, as you would expect from the longest serving Labour Prime Minister but, like so often noticed in the latter stages of his premiership, he came across polished - almost too polished.

I admit to liking the man. I think he had to take bold decisions, within limited time, under the prying - and prowling - eyes of Britain and the world. He made some mistakes, and he admitted as much last night, but he stands by the decisions that made and broke him during Power. The world demands as much, because to apologise for his decision is to admit wrongdoing and downright barbarism.

It is a shame that the Iraq war will define a leader who was a beacon for progress. Divided he leaves this nation, but even more broken he leaves his party.

With the leadership decisions coming in merely weeks, it will be up to a new upstart to shape what will need to be a Neo-Labour, a Phoenix that will rise from the ashes of Tony Blair's government and Gordon Brown's mismanagement.

Yet somehow, Blair's leadership and almost ethereal demeanour seems untouchable to me. I don't think it can be built. Barack Obama has it. Bill Clinton has it. Even Jacques Chirac has it.

And Tony Blair has it. I don't see where the next one like him is coming from.

Tri-nations thoughts

2010-08-11T06:02:00.003-04:00

We're now a month into this year's Tri Nations, and while there is one team that is showing an obvious superiority, there is still hope for the chasing nations:

South Africa - There are too many World Cup and Tri-Nations winners for this team to remain as beaten as they have been. For the duration, they have been missing their talisman Fourie Du Preez, while proven performers such as Pierre Spies just haven't been firing as they can do. They have been exposed by the tackle law leaning towards the attacker, and will need more imagination if they are to challenge next year in New Zealand. With three home games coming up in the Tri-Nations, expect them to take an Australian scalp, and to run the All Blacks much closer.

Australia - For a year now they have been touted as a potentially great squad in the making. It is a shame that Quade Cooper couldn't show his talents against the All Blacks, but he will presumably fit straight back in for the Wallabies' visit to Pretoria. They don't yet have enough strength in depth to challenge All Black (and an imminently resurgent South Africa's) dominance, but as more experience grows, then will become able to know when to throw the ball around, and when to keep tight and controlled. While Cooper et al grab all the headlines, the Aussie back-row will become the envy of the world.

All Blacks - An average of 33 points a game versus the teams ranked second and third in the world pretty much says how good this team are, and I don't see it relenting. Kiwi teams are always the trailblazers in world rugby, and once again they have raised the skill bar to an echelon that even the archangel Gabriel would struggle to reach. With the rule interpretation being what it is, opponents are going to have to figure out how to reach that level, rather than how to shut it down. They won't lose a game in this tournament, and you can bet they won't lose one next year, either.

Does Europe have a chance at RWC next year?

Astonishingly, yes. The summer tours down South have rarely shown the Northern Hemisphere in a good light, and France followed suit again this year - a spanking from the Springboks all they had to show for their dominance in Europe. Thierry Dusautoir might be the best international captain around, and as ever there is an imposing and skilful backline that can, and will (at some point) take on the Southern Hemisphere and emerge victorious.

Unless the IRB tamper with the rulebook any more, and that is a big consideration, then it will be the teams that have the power to hit twice and then spin - done magnificently by the All Blacks - that will impress next year.

It is actually shaping up for another surprising peak for England. Their shaky win against an understrength Wallaby team is less a watermark, but a nod in the right direction. Chris Ashton faces a massive test to combat a second-season-lull that has done for many a decent player, but if he, Foden plus A.N. Other can grow into a formidable back three, then dynamic forwards such as Steffon Armitage and Courtney Lawes should break into the England side and provide some sort of challenge to the black wave.

Fees Nelson Mandela

2010-07-21T15:06:00.003-04:00

Now that the World Cup has come to a predictable end, it is time for the transfer carousel to splutter into life.

From politicians talking of "an age of austerity" to cabbies who are looking after the pennies, Britain has stopped spending money like never before. Football is no different.

The writing on the wall was in January window, when teams spent £140m less than in the 2009, and with Joe Cole and Eduardo being the big names hitting the road so far this summer - for a combined £6 million - the downward spiral in spending doesn't look set to change. Alex Ferguson has already stated that he doesn't need money to spend ahead of his opening game against Newcastle, and Arsene Wenger has stuck to relatively-unheard-of Frenchmen as his point of call, purchasing for a pittance.

Manchester City will, as ever, be looking to bolster their squad with overpriced, and mediocre, Brazilians, while previous big spenders Chelsea look to be hanging onto their wedge as their interest in Fernando Torres cools.

Further down the league, and leagues, loan signings will be the order of the day. Could this mean that the big clubs actually invest in some home grown talent, and then offer them some top-flight experience? It could be a way to see out national team looking a bit more like a world force, but it would also mean that the big clubs merely cultivate their stars, and stretch out ahead of the chasing pack.

Tottenham finally broke up the Big Four, following Everton's flash-in-the-pan Champions League appearance in 2005. European football usually demands some investment but they too, rather surprisingly given Harry Redknapp's track record, have been pretty quiet in the transfer market. 'Arry had had his eye on another previous student in Joe Cole, it remains to be seen if he can sign someone he hasn't managed before.

It was definitely about time that clubs started to look at being viable business machines. It worries me that Manchester City will look to buck the trend, which will force other large clubs, with considerably less to spend, into the transfer market. How long until we see a £100 million player? Will it be in a Premiership that is showing the first sign of a wane?

Open season for the Oost-sider

2010-07-19T05:37:00.005-04:00

If one sporting event should be left untouched by the betting man, it appears that The Open is it.

Louis Oosthuizen had recorded a best placing of T73rd in a major before prevailing at St. Andrew's on Sunday, leaving Lee Westwood to yet again claim 'Best Loser' and go back to the drawing board.

Pre-tournament favourites had long-since fell by the wayside. Rory McIlroy couldn't follow up his astonishing first round, Tiger Woods appears to still be claiming short odds on past merit, and Phil Mickelson had a shocking Day One, which he never recovered from.

My hot tips - Justin Rose on form, and Chris Wood on potential - didn't even make the cut, which left the final days as a disappointing spectacle for my personal bank balance.

The Old Course had come under some scrutiny before the start of the tournament - in particular the 17th hole - but it's largely untouched layout still makes for some compelling play. The weather just south of Dundee has often been a great leveller, with coastal winds whisking top players off and out of many a tournament.

On the contrary for this year's Open, the calm breeze of Thursday left some unfavoured names a chance to get off to a great start; the eventual winner Louis Oosthuizen being the main beneficiary.

However, all this did was put him in the frame. It was when the rains and gusts picked up on the subsequent days that his fantastic showing really came to the fore. In these top tournaments, one bad round leaves you out of the reckoning. McIlroy showed with a second day shocker, Robert Rock was a slightly less heralded example. If they hit around 70 on day two instead of 80 and 78 respectively, Rock would have been T2nd - with a certain South African - and McIlroy would have been the first British winner of the Open since Paul Lawrie in 1999.

Oosthuizen did what he needed to do on the final day. He didn't push to stretch a lead. He knew the onus was on Westwood to chase his score down, and in the end it lead to dropped shots by the Englishman. While it wasn't the most riveting finale to golf's most prestigious tournament, the South African showed his nerve and calm to see it through to the end - something McIlroy failed to do as he lead into the second day.

Ifs and buts will get us nowhere, though. McIlroy will have to wait before he confirms his arrival as the natural successor to King Tiger, and my bank card will stay firmly away from any betting odds...until next time.

On Yer Hodgson

2010-07-01T14:38:00.004-04:00

If a month is a long time in football, as Fabio Capello has shown with the English national side this summer, then three years is an age.

It has taken this long for Roy Hodgson to rebuild his reputation amongst the everyday fan. Until returning English football with Fulham, a reputation as a big-spending, little-delivering manager has followed him like a bad smell. That might be the only similarity with the reputation his predecessor at Anfield now carries.

His Fulham team has played some of the most attractive football in the Premiership, on an incredibly tight budget, and has even carried some great results to boot. But can he make the transition to one of the fabled 'Big Four'?

He comes with top level experience from all over Europe, but has rarely had to cope with the high expectations of such a side as Liverpool. Internazionale are one of his old haunts, but they were not what they are now, and nowhere near the days of 'Grande Inter' from the mid-1960s.

The problem with Liverpool is that they expect, but at the moment there isn't the security or cash to compete with the likes of Manchester United, or even less, Chelsea. Manchester City are a team knocking on the door of the Champions, and will be expected to challenge at the very top this season. Even Tottenham will look to kick on from their impressive season, qualifying for the Champions League.

It is one thing taking Fulham up the league, with a few good choices and a bit more luck. As you reach the top, the margins get smaller, the money gets bigger and the scrunity rockets into the stratosphere.

Can Hodgson buy the top players that Liverpool fans want? Can he keep hold of Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard? If he stays for his contract, can he find a replacement for Liverpool and England's captain?

One thing Hodgson will do is mould more of a team than Benitez. The Spaniard is a man of tactics, where Hodgson is more in the English managerial mould of using spirit to succeed.

But don't take that to mean he is deficient in tactical play. He has knowledge from most of Europe, and from many years. You may see a Liverpool closer to the work ethic and guile of Danny Murphy, than to the simple of brilliance of Torres or Gerrard.

Liverpool will not be the same monster under Hodgson, but I really feel that he is a great appointment who, while maybe not hitting the heights of the Premiership, is sure to put the Reds on a surer footing than they have been for a good few seasons.

England In Need of Heart

2010-06-29T07:32:00.001-04:00

So the autopsy begins. England’s World Cup carcass must not be left to decay, and many, many column inches will be dedicated to picking through the rot, hoping to make some sense of the abject failure that we are feeling at the moment.

It would be a mistake to make any issue of the disallowed goal when dissecting the national team’s performance. That is part of a wider problem, with Sepp Blatter today confirming that the file will be ‘reopened’ on the use of goal-line technology. Mexico will be as begrudged as England following a blatant offside score versus Argentina – but the only other similarity is that they were both playing in games they were never going to win.

The blame cannot be laid at the feet of manager Fabio Capello, either. On the night, he made some dire substitutions (bring on Heskey when searching for a score?), but his credentials cannot be discarded. It is a nonsense to toss away Capello after four games of mediocrity. The results this world cup do not expose him as a poor manager, they expose England as a struggling team, light years behind the pace-setters in world football.

Our club teams have long been peppered with classy foreigners, and there is no doubting that our players benefit from appearing alongside the likes of Gianfranco Zola, Thierry Henry and listless others through the Premiership years. But can the Premiership still be called ‘The Best League In The World’? Commercially, yes, but qualitatively? The jury is out.

Of the 138 players to make it through to the quarter finals so far (six squads of 23), only 12 show their wares in England. If you assume that Spain and Japan will qualify through to the quarter finals, that is only a further three to the tally. That will mean that less than 10% of the players in the last 8 will be from the Premiership. So can this league really be proof that England is producing players to compete at the top?

English clubs have been impressive in the Champions League in recent years – but what is this attributable to? Wayne Rooney has been in Cristiano Ronaldo’s shadow for three years before the Portuguese moved on to Spain; Thierry Henry spearheaded Arsenal’s run to the final in 2006; Chelsea is a team studded with international experience that, although John Terry and Frank Lampard impress, they have ample quality in the squad to fall back on should they come up short.

Steven Gerrard is one Englishman who carried a team to European glory when perhaps they weren’t the best team in the competition – he was probably the only player to come away with any hint of distinction on Sunday afternoon. But there is only so much one player can do.

So where do England go from here? There is already lots of talk about grass roots and nurturing a new ‘Golden Generation’. But for this, you need patience, something which the FA is short on at the best of times.

Short term, there need to be changes, but not wholesale. Until players who had shown real promise (Micah Richards, Adam Johnson) really step up to the plate – and they should be given every opportunity to – then old guard such as John Terry and Frank Lampard should remain. Whether they start is a different matter. Steve Gerrard is the talisman who should lead England to their next competition; his lieutenant should be a revitalised and determined Wayne Rooney, desperate to fire himself in the stratosphere of Ronaldo and Messi.

We are disappointed in you England, but sometimes it’s better to start from the start, rather than paper over cracks. So while the carcass of World Cup 2010 begins to decay, we all await a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Rose to the challenge

2010-06-20T05:17:00.006-04:00

It's a little premature to be claiming that England are world beaters just yet, but they've taken a few tentative steps towards achieving just that. For the first time in many a month, the rallying chorus of 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' rang around a rugby ground in anger.

Ben Foden and Chris Ashton showed some flashes last week in a dire, yet consistent, England performance against Australia. This week, the shackles were free as finally Ben Youngs and Courtney Lawes were included. They had been less knocking on the door, than crashing through it and half way up the stairs before Martin Johnson deemed to start them. Against many of their age-group contemporaries (Will Genia and Quade Cooper the standout examples) they smashed and tussled, nipped and scurried. The quick ball that we have all been waiting for, and was eluded to last week once Youngs emerged, flew from wing to wing in a way that wasn't even seen against France in the Six Nations.

What is frustrating is that no one was surprised. These players have been performing for their clubs all season, while performers of yesteryear have not. Still others are out in the relative cold, but hopefully this has shown the writing on the wall for the future of this England side. In fact, England almost reverted to type when Youngs was mystifyingly substituted, and Lawes departed injured. While Shaw is a fantastic player, surely he should be a bit-part player in the England squad from now on.

Asking for Borthwick to be overlooked by English selectors is asking a bit much, but it is something that would improve the outlook for the team.

In Colorado, a mirror image was occurring as the Saxons took apart an impressive Canada side. Mistakes were made, but great running was to be had from, in particular, Alex Goode, who looks more like an England fly-half with every day that passes. He is assured and confident on the ball, and next year will surely be a breakthrough year at 10 for the 22-year-old.

There are also a few forwards putting their hands up for the senior side. George Skivington had a fantastic Churchill Cup, and many critics still hang English hopes on Tom Rees, earmarked as a future national captain.

Neither England team are by any means the finished article. Let's remember that this was an Australia side bereft of a front row. Less caps than you could count on one hand, against an engine room that included two Premiership winners and a World Cup champion. While the men in white had some supremacy, Australia achieved a notable score from the base of a sturdy scrum platform.

With the Tri-Nations on the way, it will be compelling to see the three rugby superpowers jostling for World Cup position. It is just a shame that we now have to wait until November to see how England's credentials match up. Yesterday was cause for optimism, but six months is a long time, and there are many games to be played until then.

There's no harm in hoping, and now we finally have reason to.

Pains down South

2010-06-13T18:11:00.005-04:00

Australia 27 - 17 England

New Zealand 66 - 28 Ireland

South Africa 42 - 17 France

It doesn't make good reading for the Northern Hemisphere rugby fan, but is it at all surprising? Perhaps South Africa's dominance of France raised Gallic eyebrows, as they were the only team that anyone really had hopes of challenging the Southern giants in the World Cup next year.

The team in green went almost unnoticed in the shadow of the football World Cup in South Africa, but they capitalised on French mistakes, and made the cream of the Heineken Cup look ordinary. It was a worrying sight to see the French backs burned for pace by not only the Springbok back three, but by man-mountain Pierre Spies also.

Ireland had their backs against the wall from the moment they lost Jamie Heaslip. However, it was still hard to see where they could have picked the All Blacks apart on the basis of this weekend's match.

Martin Johnson was apparently angry with his team after they failed to capitalise on their dominant scrum - something we have expected against Australia. But what did they achieve? Beating a front row who could count their collective caps on one hand is nothing to be surprised and proud at. The one dimensional forward play was a bore, and the young Aussie strike men were fantastic. It is still so frustrating to see so many young, form, quality players being overlooked by England. If there was ever a time to throw caution to the wind then it was, well, two years ago - but better late than never. Shontayne Hape hasn't even lit the Premiership alight, so why was he going to stun the Wallabies?

So what do the Northern Hemisphere have to do now? Looking at pure playing talent, I don't think we are as far behind the Southerners as may be apparent. The bench-sitters should, for the main, be starting Tests for England, but I don't want to bang my head against the same brick wall as so many critics have already.

There seems to be a mental block, a collapse under pressure, that even the most hardened Leicester forwards seem to experience. Antipodean confidence isn't hard to come by, and this is something we need to tap into, and something I've only seen with England in their dominant spell.

The Springboks are physically imposing as always, and have some really hard hitters in the centre of the park. They have their world class players, but after that, they have athletes filling out the team. The All Blacks have fantastic ball handling skills and are tactically astute, but they don't have an aura like previous years. If there is a way (and I say this very cautiously) to nullify their amazing fly half and openside flanker, then some other players can be got at - which has been shown in the Super 14 by the South African sides.

For my money, Australia could turn into one of the truly great sides of the next five years. The talent they have is fantastic, with mobile forwards complimented lightning backs. This rolls back to the heyday of Larkham and Latham, with George Smith bursting onto the international scene. Their players are cocky, they expect to win, and mostly will.

So back to England. This weekend's result didn't prove anything apart from the same old players are still doing the same old thing. Flashes of brilliance were shown by Foden and Ashton - this will only improve as they receive more game time. Courtney Lawes came on and showed his athletic prowess by smashing the Aussies back where Nick Easter and Simon Shaw had failed. Ben Youngs turned a stodgy and slow attack into a fizzing possibility. But this isn't enough.

The South attack in numbers, with pace as they receive the ball. This seems so fundamental, but yet English internationals don't seem to have this skill. If we can't fulfill basic rugby principles, then how are we to ever compete. Get the excited, naive youth onto the pitch and lets show the world what our attacking gems from Northampton, Leicester and Saracens (remember them?) can do.

My (if fit) England XV:

1 Tim Payne

2 Dylan Hartley

3 Dan Cole

4 Courtney Lawes

5 Simon Shaw

6 Tom Croft

7 Steffon Armitage

8 Nick Easter (was a tough choice with Dowson, but would love to see the Saints man make an impact)

9 Ben Youngs

10 Toby Flood (for now, maybe Alex Goode next year?)

11 Ugo Monye

12 Brad Barritt

13 Olly Barkley

14 Chris Ashton

15 Ben Foden

For BA read BS

2010-05-24T14:37:00.006-04:00

What are the British Airways cabin crew trying to achieve? Their high salaries are well documented over the course of the striking season, but they seem not to have heeded anger from the outside world.

Indeed, times are hard. Not has there been discontent like this since Margaret Thatcher - a PM who polarised opinion more than most. In the 1980s, there was money everywhere, but it just didn't reach the people who needed it. Strikers had legitimate claims to protect their interests, they were on the bread line.

When Thatcher tackled and dismantled the Unions, she was on to a good thing. Capitalism was on it's rise, and in a big way. Like so many other countries in the late 20th century, we were mirroring our over sized offspring, the United States of America. Prosperity was on the way, but it was up to you to get it. No more huddled in groups demanding rights, it was the age of want it, make it happen.

We're not in that age any more. There isn't a bright star on the horizon to follow to the promised land. British Airways reported over £500m worth of loss this year (a success if you ask some who predicted over £600m). In short, it shows a company that, in the real world, shouldn't last much longer.

Time to buckle up, cabin crew. Your stubborn greediness may be keeping our carbon footprints a little smaller as we boycott airports, but we'll be crying for a great British institution, not your jobs, when BA finally dive bombs in a hail of Unite silver bullets.

The failure of success?

2010-05-19T15:54:00.004-04:00

Labelled "the most consistent team of the year" by Stuart Barnes, Northampton Saints have now bowed out of their last competition of the season.

Eighth in the league last season, with an Amlin Challenge Cup to their name. Second this year, with an Anglo-Welsh Cup. For a team that had lacked silverware until their 2000 Heineken Cup win, this must surely be seen as a purple patch for the team in green, black and gold.

But there must still be an air of disappointment about this year. The scoresheet against Saracens reads 3-2 to the Londoners, with two - high stakes - wins at Franklin's Gardens. You can't deny that they came good at the right time, which is what the good sides do. Only Barnes saw an away win on Sky Sports' Rugby Club, but I too had seen the writing on the wall for some time.

Ever since Munster held out in January, Northampton haven't seemed like a team that is unbeatable. You feel that aura at Welford Road, where season after season Leicester have shown that they are a side who, when the chips are down, will come out with a big gamble and take the winnings.

Saints could still be that team, but with star quality in Juandre Kruger leaving this summer, and the terrier that is Neil Best, I feel they can only be a weaker team than this season. This season was the chance to put a stamp on a season where all pundits were waxing lyrical about a fantastic style of rugby.

Saracens, on the other hand, look like a side that is assembling into one formidable bunch. Quality players in Richard Wigglesworth, David Strettle will offer some backline experience and dazzle, while returning Matt Stevens will look to touch ground where he left off in the forwards.

I see Saracens as Saints' greatest rival in the coming seasons, which is why I am hopeful for a Leicester win. As hard as that is to say from the south side of the A5199, I feel like the 'same old' gloating from a Tigers fan is easier to take than the 'got there before you' nose-rubbing of a Sarries one.

So, for me, I see this as a season of failure. Progress was made, but the finish line wasn't crossed. That final marker was that of the Guinness Premiership at Rugby HQ, and we were pipped by the other pretenders to the throne.

Congratulations to them, but for rugby's sake, please stumble at that one last obstacle come May 29 at Twickenham.

Time for a change?

2010-05-19T15:33:00.003-04:00

Physicists have theorised that it is actually possible to travel through time. Once we hit near-light-speed, time would travel slower for us compared to the outside world, in order to preserve the law of the universe.

One such law is that nothing can travel as fast as light. So if you have a vessel travelling at, say, 99.99% of that speed (299,792,458m/s to be precise), anything within that vessel that moves forward will do so in relative slow motion. More on the actual intricacies on this are here. Other theories involving super-massive black holes and time depletion are also sounded out, but the former is our only 'realistic' chance of travelling into the future.

But do we have a need? Certainly, incredible speeds would mean that we can venture into the recesses of the universe, finding planets, solar systems and even life forms light years away from our own. That is a new age of discovery, the Columbus of the future, mapping spaces we never knew possible. To me, that is fascinating.

Time travel, however, isn't so. If the brightest minds on our earth have disproved the potential to travel back in time, then what is the purpose of travelling forward? The advancement of the human race has always been that - to take everyone along into a new age of discovery. If the knowledge learned from the future can't be passed back, then it is void, useless. The greatest spaceships could send frontiersmen into the future, but those left behind would never know if they really succeeded. It's like having a cure for cancer discovered now, but we only start using it 100 years from now.

I understand our need for answers, so keep searching Mr Hawking and friends. One day we will make it but, alas, it will take time.

Lib-Con Coalition – could it work?

2010-05-08T12:08:00.003-04:00

For a long time, it had always looked as if the Liberal Democrats would hold some aces coming out of the general election. David Cameron had been pushing for an overall majority since day one, while Labour looked more split with every day that passed approaching May 6.

Gordon Brown and his supporters may well have been expecting a stubborn Tory stance, possibly a minority government and then maybe another election within the year. That could still happen, but with the Conservatives offering the Liberal Democrats a brokered deal, it could be Gordon Brown and Labour who are left out in the cold. The question is, can the Lib Dems and the Tories work together, and how?

Differences on the Issues

Some of the disgruntled electorate have proclaimed that you couldn’t put a cigarette paper between the three main parties, but there are some fundamental differences that could lead to coalition talks breaking down. One of the main issues is political reform – which is something Cameron has stated he is prepared to compromise on.

If the Conservatives back down on their Proportional Representation stance, they could stand to go from almost 50% of the parliamentary seats to just over a third, if you go on this election’s voting results. As an exercise of party politics, it seems like madness. It is likely that a compromise wouldn’t go as far as PR, so it seems that the Conservatives would probably offer other incentives for the Lib Dems to get into bed with them.

Tax and education

There is most chance of a compromise on taxation policy. Conservatives have a more fluid policy in this area, and would be prepared to give in to Liberal Democrat demands for a raise in the income tax threshold to £10,000.

Other outcomes could see the change in inheritance tax fall by the wayside – for now.

In education, both parties have very differing views. The ‘pupil premium’ is one area of agreement – putting a cap on class sizes. Problems will arise if the Conservatives model of academies and non-state schools is pushing through, as this juxtaposes the Liberal Democrat view.

Sugar-sweet-secretarial positions

While not very probable, Cameron may decide to offer some positions within the government in order to entice Clegg and his cronies. There are many in the general populous who would be happy to see Vince Cable as Chancellor of the Exchequer, and Clegg has been touted by the bookies as a potential Home Secretary. These sorts of prestigious and powerful positions may be enough to soften the Lib Dems on other issues.

Outcome?

Leading websites have stated that this greatly mirrors the 1974 attempt at a Conservative/Liberal Democrat coalition, which lead to a minority Labour government within a week. Gordon Brown isn’t in such a strong position as Labour leader as Harold Wilson was 35 years ago, which would compel me to disagree with this as a probable result.

It will be a surprise to everyone if the Tories and Lib Dems can thrash out an agreement that lasts. If Cameron does indeed succeed in forming a government, coalition or minority, then chances are we’ll be seeing another general election in the very near future.

And then, as much as it pains me to say it, we may be seeing a certain D Milliband in the hot seat…

British Business Not So Big

2010-05-03T11:47:00.006-04:00

Over the past few years, there has been a steady decline in British owned businesses. The most high profile the past year has to be Kraft's £11bn purchase of Cadbury. The Guardian has reported that this is just the beginning of a spate of super-mergers to come to our shores. But what exactly is the attractiveness of British business, why do they feel the need to sell, and what does it mean for the economy?

Brand Power

Companies such as Cadbury have already built a global reputation as a confectioner, especially in Kraft's base of North America. In the past, acquisitions of British motoring companies might have seem like a folly on paper (Rover was losing millions a day when it was sold by BMW), but the power of the brand could have been seen as a helpful leg-up for a larger company with some more spending power.

Weak Pound

Britain, despite a heralded initial response to the credit crunch and recession, has been particularly slow coming out of it's troubled financial times. While America and Europe have led the way, Britain has been fairly sluggish, meaning that banks are less likely to lend to companies as they look to kick start their recovery.

Strong and liberal stock market

With the UK stock market operating on a fundamental free-market basis, there is minimal protection of British business from overseas takeover. While initially this makes our market so strong, it also leaves the door open for massive US corporations, and other state-owned overseas companies to pick off the best UK businesses.

What does it mean for the economy?

There are pros and cons, and can vary from takeover to takeover. With Kraft, the promise of keeping jobs was sadly reneged upon. This is something that has also been seen in Middlesbrough and York, with the steelworks and Terry's Chocolate respectively. Global companies have the capacity to move their assets globally which, if leaving our shores, will mean lower production and a weaker economy. On the other hand, some British production wouldn't have existed half as long without the foreign takeovers propping up the manufacturing jobs (Nissan and Rover are two examples).

In short, it is better to have British made goods to export, but unfortunately our small island just doesn't really have the basic resources. This, coupled with our commitment to human rights, means that production is expensive. As long as this is so, then manufacturing industry will continue to leave our shores or be subjected to overseas takeover.

A-pathetic voter

2010-04-29T15:01:00.003-04:00

I've just finished with ITV1's programme 'Who's Going To Vote', and it proved to be the most infuriating programme of the week.

I don't expect people to be completely switched on to the election, not everyone wants to be reading up on politics - but it matters. Television, the debates, newspapers, internet - they all dilute the issues into easily readable chunks for anyone short on time and effort. The policies are all there for people to see.

One of the reasons given in the programme was that the voting system isn't fair; "my vote doesn't count". Rubbish. All it takes is for people to come together, look at the issues and make intelligent decisions on their vote. Labour or Conservatives strongholds are only that because people are voting for them. No one who is voting for Labour in the northwest heartlands is complaining about first-past-the-post. It's a marginalised view that needs proportional representation.

We are a moderate country, with moderate views. I don't want to see our politics letting in the far right and left when only less around 5% of the country even considers voting for someone like the BNP - that's three million people out of sixty-one million. It's like letting the classroom trouble-maker teaching the class. Keep first-past-the-post, and ignore these lazy apathetics.

But more importantly, get out and vote!

Walking on Cleggshells

2010-04-22T16:33:00.004-04:00

It was always going to be a tough yet compelling ask for David Cameron to step up to the plate against Cleggmania this week, in Sky's Prime Ministerial Debate - he did everything he needed to and more.

Last week, an assured Nick Clegg had come across as a relaxed friend of the people, an alternative to the Old Politics, brimming with ideas and amiability. This week, the Liberal Democrat was dangerously exposed by unrealistic policies, expertly rebuffed by the current Prime Minister, and cleverly marginalised by the next. He was a boy amongst men in tonight's debate.

Cameron's task was to throw away last week's disappointing performance, become more assertive, and push through more policy, less idiom. The gaping hole for him to trip and fall into was an assimilation of Clegg from the first debate. He would have looked reactionary; a fidgety pretender to the Prime Ministerial position. He did his task with aplomb - his body language, talking to camera, recognition of questioners - he managed to dominate what could have looked like manufactured gestures with, finally, some real oration on policy.

Gordon Brown was always going to play the statesman, relying on his experience and austerity. In tonight's battle, he definitely did better than last week, but he was exposed on Labour's failings on both immigration and the Afghanistan mission.

Clegg made good points about Trident, but looked lost on other issues such as the European Union. He accepted that the EU is far from perfect, but didn't really make any decent argument to dive headfirst into the mainland. The Conservatives have struck the right balance between Euro-scepticism and benefit. Our country isn't the same as France, or Belgium, or Greece - our laws can't be the same. We offer Europe so much in terms of our expertise and standing, but our small, annexed island has too many differing views to be able to commit all our powers to Brussels.

This election will have took another twist on the back of tonight's performances. I believe that with David Cameron showing his passion, decisiveness and power on policy, he has talked debated himself one step closer to Number 10 - now all we have to hope for is a majority.

Leadership Debate Could Be A Score Bore

2010-04-15T06:45:00.007-04:00

The election race is well and truly underway. With David Cameron looking like the lazy hare, Gordon Brown's tortoise has slowly but surely plodded through the course, catching his rival. The similarities with the famous Hare and Tortoise fable end there though, as Nick Clegg's Chesire Cat is looking down on the snoozing Blue animal and grinning all the way to a probable hung parliament.

Tonight will be the first crunch as the three main party leaders go head to head on ITV1 in the Yankee style leadership debate. I don't see it happening quite in the majestic and momentous way of McCain/Obama, where the war hero faced the historic African-American in a series of set-tos that nearly brought the Democrat train off the rails.

In 2008, McCain was playing the Brown role, trying to distance himself from a previous failed regime, while struggling to come to terms with the modern day polish a Western leader needs. Cameron, however, does not have the luxury of offering a groundbreaking image. 'Blair-lite' is a moniker he has had to contend with, and British tolerance for spin, suaveness and soundbites is quickly diminishing.

The interesting ingredient in the debates tonight is Clegg, who has two real options. Does he take a backwards step, see where Cameron and Brown establish themselves, and then lay out his ideas accordingly? Or does he go for the proactive, and put forward some real ideas that challenge the status quo of politics that the general public are fed up with?

The other danger is that all three lack the real nerve or necessity to go on the attack, which could leave the debate as the first of three barren carcasses for the media to pick at. A poll by Sky showed that a mere 50% of people were planning to watch tonight's event (although this could loosely be equated to the active electorate). One of those will be me, and I'm anxious to see a move away from the populist, centralist politics of the last 15 years.

However, with the other big news of the day being that Tiger Woods may be getting a divorce, I won't be holding my breath.

Champagne stuff in Cider Country

2010-03-22T08:24:00.004-04:00

Searing pace, spectacular skill, frantic tackling, baying crowds and tries coming out of your ears. It was most certainly the best rugby match of the weekend. I'm not talking about the Blues versus Brumbies, or Scotland's gasping win over Ireland. I am most definitely not talking about France's nervous attempt at capitulation.

Some fast, incisive running from a Northampton player was seen, but it isn't Ben Foden touching down for England that I am thinking of. Think more Tongan, think Soane Tonga'uiha. Think Gloucester v Northampton in the LV= Cup final at Sixways, Worcester.

Here was 80 minutes of end-to-end stuff. Rugby league's forgotten man Lesley Vainikolo battered against Saints' bodies, and Northampton's Tonga'uiha replied with deft hands and a 70 metre dash that could so easily have culminated in a most astonishing score.

I watched the Six Nations, and not once was I on the end of my seat, shouting in excitement for my country. Northampton Saints offer the best Northern Hemisphere quality that is on offer. For the good of the game, I hope they dance round a forwardly limited Leicester in the Guinness Premiership final in May, and top it off with an epic Heineken sponsored England-France encounter that will spark more touch paper than was witnessed in St. Denis on Saturday evening.

Well done boys for earning your first domestic silverware, may it be the first of many.

Just enough, but too late

2010-03-17T09:44:00.005-04:00

England team to play France on Saturday, March 20 (kick-off 1945GMT):
B Foden (Northampton); M Cueto (Sale Sharks), M Tindall (Gloucester), R Flutey (Brive), C Ashton (Northampton); T Flood (Leicester), D Care (Harlequins); T Payne (Wasps), D Hartley (Northampton), D Cole (Leicester), S Shaw (Wasps), S Borthwick (Saracens, capt), J Worsley (Wasps), L Moody (Leicester), N Easter (Harlequins).

What can be said about the current England rugby union team that hasn't already been written in spades across all media?

While I agree with Team Manager Martin Johnson that a side should build and grow slowly and together, for too long it has been around the wrong players and the pace just hasn't been quick enough.

Finally some of the young form players have been included, but it does seem strange that Ashton and Foden should start their first games away from home, in a boiler of passion, against the only Northern Hemisphere side that can some close to the Tri-Nations.

If Ashton returns to England on Sunday try-less and with a mistake or two under his belt, does that make his inclusion a failure? My biggest worry is that Johnson is hoping his stubbornness will be proved right by some novice errors - which surely are to be expected from debutantes. Bad memories of a young(er) debutant Mathew Tait being exposed, which almost ended his international career.

The current France side have an air of a late 1990s England team. They have been stuck with criticism, and the young players are beginning to prove their worth. Stars with the calibre of Wilkinson and Lewsey were borne out of the Aussie 'Tour of Hell', and this is what England need to do. Get the young players in, let them make mistakes, and build a team around the players who show world class. I mean people like Hartley, Cole, S Armitage, Youngs, Ashton. Dare I mention the inclusion of some other Saints performers in Jon Clarke and Phil Dowson? Luckily for Northampton, they seem to be overlooked, which can only bode well for the LV= Cup final this weekend!

Justine time for the election

2010-03-16T09:39:00.006-04:00

It's a summer of decisions on the way, and this time, they're going to be more important than deciding which flip flops to wear or if I should sunburn my shoulders now or later on in the day.

The first big one has to be the election. I've made it clear previously on this blog that I will be, barring a catastrophic run of events, a Conservative voter this year. It's the best pick of a bad lot, but they are doing their best to alienate what support they have at the moment.

As with a lot of the public, I have grown tired of being told "the public want". It turns out that I am part of the public, and I don't need a finger pointing, table hitting MP to tell me that. Some candidates seem to have learnt that, but the good feeling and will never seems to filter up to the top of our main political parties.

The star of the recent BBC's Question Time, in my eyes, was Justine Greening. She spoke sense, which is a commodity lacking in the world of Westminster these days. Points to do with Afghanistan and Jon Venables were dealt with firmly and succinctly, with none of this "What Gordon Brown did...". Maybe the time of the Whips and the bullies in parliament needs to come to a close - and the righteous opinions will maybe show through.

Point scoring gets a politician nowhere with me - give me credible policies, good decisions and intelligent governing any day. The politicians already know that's what the public want, so when is it going to happen?

Time Out

2010-03-16T09:36:00.002-04:00

When it gets to the stage that work and earning money is more important than spouting out rants and opinions on an nondescript page, hovering in the blogosphere, well, I think we have a problem.

So I'm back, and I'll endeavour to fill enough of this shallow graveyard of prose for all (or probably both) of you to read...

Football players in the red

2010-01-24T15:16:00.005-05:00

Wesley Sneijder has just been handed a red card for sarcastically clapping referee Gianluca Rocchi. ESPN's commentary jumped straight to the Dutchman's defense, stating that, "dissent is something we don't like to see, but it's not a red card." The commentators even fought Sneijder's corner, but there is one fact here - Sneijder got himself sent off, not the referee.

Surely it's about time that football players were put back in their place. The constant bickering and bullying of referees is seen as something of an art. If a flash point doesn't go your way, then put pressure on the ref and you will probably get the next one.

False.

The sight of footballers rolling around on the floor in pain, of crowds of angry men surrounding the referee, and of persistent disgusting shows of unfairness and pathetic behaviour - it's all driving me to fury.

I have become disillusioned with a sport I once loved. Okay, it was always a sideshow to my main partner, rugby, but I loved it nonetheless. It has become a sport for thugs, playing and supporting alike. The way players act in the top leagues around the world is akin to the King's Arms XI on a Sunday afternoon. Andrey Arshavin is the only modern player I can think of who plays in an honorable and enjoyable spirit.

Even in the oval shaped code, there are the beginnings of a collective backchat from players as they look to affect their team's situation. So far, the penalties have been forthcoming, but for how long? As the sport expands, I worry that it will follow the big business professional 'win at all costs' attitude that has somewhat blighted the 'Beautiful Game'.

So show those red cards. Sneijder deserved to go - but I'm sure he'll be doing much the same next game. Start sending people off, and there may be a few eight-a-side games, but the players will soon cotton on that their foolishness will not be tolerated.

A Novel Idea

2010-01-24T13:18:00.004-05:00

"You have to have an idea of what you are going to do, but it should be
a vague idea." ~Pablo Picasso

When it came to his own ideas, Picasso's could be said to be quite profound, but there is plenty that can be taken from this quote.

I've been 'waiting' for an idea for a novel for the past two years, and while I have jotted down anything that has captured my imagination, I have never found anything I thought could carry a story through a whole tome. Until now...

It's not perfected, and the storyline isn't complete, but at least I have an idea.

So watch this space, because the ideas are mounting, and a story is unfolding - now it just demands some hard work and a keyboard wearing thin, and hopefully I can put something together that you will want to read!

Saints need divine intervention to scrape through

2010-01-23T16:12:00.002-05:00

I write this with my hands still trembling from two days of unmerciful Heineken Cup action. This weekend is the final group round for this season, and Saints needed a result and a bit of luck to make it through to the Quarter Finals.

Obviously, with them being a team that I support, it would be too much to expect a plain sailing coast through to the next stage in Europe's elite club competition. With an 82nd minute try last week and two last minute wins in the Guinness Premiership, I fully expected the need of a heart specialist come Saturday evening. I was proved correct.

Saints' young side were dominant in Thomand Park, but were exposed by the wiles and experience of the Munster men. Simple kicks were missed, and mistakes were made in an attritional 80 minutes in Ireland. While they didn't win, they did pick up a priceless losing bonus point.

Cue a Leinster cruise today, pushing aside London Irish in a procession to the matches where the European Champions belong. Irish, who have been a quality side but inconsistent, needed to front up against a team brimming with confidence and British Lions. I was happy that Saints would be through, so I settled down with my digestives and tea and waiting for the Leinster tries to cascade.

Fast-forward to 80 minutes, and the scores stand at 11-11 thanks to a Sexton drop-goal, the ball is whipping away from a ruck for Malone to have his second attempt at sending said ball over the posts and Irish into the quarter finals. Kearney had missed a simple touch, and this was Malone's time to shine. The ball final sails past the right hand upright, and Northampton are through.

A breathtaking weekend and first stage of rugby. The Heineken Cup is nothing if it isn't the bane of my rugby watching existence. Thanks Saints for qualifying out of a group of three champions (Magners, Top 14 and Italian), but next time, do it with some room to spare.

Bliss

2009-12-12T10:44:00.004-05:00

There's something perfect about a brisk winter weekend day. While I've enjoyed frolicking weekends away in Brussels, Birmingham, Sunderland and Paris in the last few weeks, sitting in front of Heineken Cup rugby with a cup of coffee in my hand and a warm laptop on my knees is approaching what some might call bliss.

Number One

2009-12-07T16:35:00.009-05:00

In life, there are thousands of rules to abide to,
Ten commandments: I have failed, but it's not like I tried to,
I like God, the idea, but I push Him aside to
Live

I'm surrounded by the people that I want to get cross to,
Rise above, these are guys that I should be a boss to,
Should aim high, but in this life I just don't have a toss to
Give

Nose in books is the way I could be what I could be,
Never happened, in a way, so I'm not what I should be,
A bit of luck, in my lap, well now really that would give
Scope

It's early days, but a route, that is just what I need to
Gain some ground, get ahead, find some news to pay heed to,
Maybe then, who knows when, it will hopefully lead to
Hope

So look ahead, brace yourself, take control and you'll see to
The ways, you'll progress, and your Dad will agree to
And the lie that you're done, it will prove to not be too
True

In the end, you will see, all that effort you gave to
Those expectations, to the teachers that you try to behave to,
In the end, all the paths, they all turn round and lead to

You.

Just You.

Bring back Belgium!

2009-11-25T15:33:00.005-05:00

Our Tony wouldn't be wallowing in waffles and fries as the new President of the European Council, but that didn't mean it wasn't exciting times in Brussels for at least one or two of the English.

Kate and I arrived on the Friday, and managed to dodge any particularly damp weather until the final afternoon in Brussels. It was a weekend of great beers - from Leffe to Grimbergen to Maes - rich desserts and language confusion. With a slightly Bavarian feel to some of the architecture, and with Gothic spires looming over us, it was easy to forget that we were required to speak French or Flemish, and not bodge some German together.

In Bruges on Saturday, we found that more people were talking to each other in English than anything else, so it almost became pointless when we exercised our s'il vous plaits and mercis.

With it being late November, Bruges had become a city that wouldn't have looked out of place above an alpine slope. Although Christmas has been heralded pretty late by retail standards, glittering fir trees adorned the perimeter of a soggy ice rink, and the chocolate Santa Claus's had Kate foaming at the mouth. Never mind mentioning the chocolate museum, I've never seen so much of the brown stuff!

Back in Brussels on the Sunday, we sampled some delicacies, including fries (not French!) and Bearnaise sauce, and then, of course, a chocolate banana waffle (they call them Belgian Waffles back home). Apparently I'd fallen into the tourist trap of ordering toppings, but I wasn't complaining. On into the evening, and some of the live music was fantastic. Genres ranged from soul to classic pianists, and everything was relaxing.

Back in London, back at work, and the European capital seems a long way away. With the Eurostar meaning that Belgium is only £50 away, I'm sure I'll be returning before too long!

Rugby talk

2009-11-18T15:50:00.002-05:00

There are only so many articles, blogs and comments a boy can read before he becomes determined to stick his oar in; consider my oar officially submerged and my boat rocking upon the swelling waves of discontent.

Two weeks of woeful England performances, consistent pressure from media and fans alike, and a great performance from a club captainless Saracens have led me to one - fairly obvious - conclusion: Borthwick doesn't cut it.

I don't think I need to expand much further than that, as I am merely agreeing with the obvious.

At this point, I should declare my bias, as my blood runs green, black and gold. I will, however, aim to balance that with the fact that all I want this November is for England to show me they can and will be back on top.

For that reason Dylan Hartley - the bullish, direct hooker - should be England captain. He has matured faster than a fine Stilton next to a warm radiator. Even I had reservations when he was announced as Northampton top dog, but this has proven him as a leader, and one that can take the men in white (sometimes purple) forward.

Courtney Lawes should be in the second row. For me, there are three leading second rows. I would play a combination of King Shawsy, Lawes and Kennedy. There is a mix of styles, the necessary experience in Shaw, who I would have as the only nailed on starter, and there would be direct running, great lineouts (recall any teams that have built a juggernaut on this skill?), and with Lawes and Shaw, some strength behind the front three.

Why can't Jon Clarke have a look? Expecting a Foden soliloquy at this point? I love his running at club level, but personally think he would get found at at international level. Players such as Armitage are a step above. Jon Clarke, however, finds himself out in the cold, when there is hardly any wood on the fire. I have never been impressed with Mathew Tait as an international starter, Erinle is just a bruiser, Hipkiss has been solid but will never set the world alight.

In Clarke, you have a finisher. Someone who has been galvanised by overcoming injury. He has pace, great ball skills, and plays with Shane Geraghty every single week. Why doesn't he get a mention when England are so short of centres?

A rock in a hard place

2009-10-22T15:33:00.007-04:00

A hesitant pause
betrays fears of the worst kind.
Your words are the cure.

Eating Out Versus Eating In - The Event

2009-10-22T15:07:00.002-04:00

The Conclusion

Well, I suppose it's about time I made a decision, which is better, staying in with a lovely home cooked meal, or spreading the dining wings and heading out to a restaurant? It would be easy to sit on the fence and offer that both have their uses.

Of course, that's true. Eating Out requires energy, but gives you excitement. It is the pressure of choosing a destination, the lottery of picking a great menu item, the satisfaction of leaning back, with a drop of wine left, and a steaming coffee in your hand, waxing lyrical about anything from high culture to yob culture, and all that's in between. You have to get off your arse, dress up nice and get out of the house, but once you arrive you can relax and let the cuisine come to you. That, in essence, has to be the biggest plus of heading out.

The same pleasures can be had from sitting in. Again, energy is required. This time, it's in the preparation. What ingredients to buy? What dish to decide? Do you have the skills? What if it goes wrong? Is the takeaway reliable, is it desirable? But once you have sorted the food, some wine, maybe a film, or music, or friends - it can be incredible. If you can combine good food with good company, then you're on to a winner - the same goes for Eating Out.

So who wins? There is something decadent, fulfilling and brilliant about spending your hard earned money, in a beautiful atmosphere, with some great friends and even better wine.

The verdict: EATING OUT

Eating Out versus Eating In - Atmosphere

2009-09-23T14:15:00.005-04:00

Part 3 - Atmosphere

A lot of the atmosphere either eating in or eating out depends on whoever is accompanying you on your edible escapade.

In the home, it’s all down to you. You want romance? Well then buy in some candles and dim the dimmer switch. The music is your choice, but if you fancy something new, you might be adding on to the price. The general effort can be a factor, but to enjoy the EI experience you really need to put some enthusiasm into the preparation.

With all the right choices, you can have a brilliant EI atmosphere. You could put on a film and cook finger food for all your mates, or with some energetic choons, you could enjoy some cocktails and fancy grub.

As for Eating Out, here is where you men can gain some real points. If you think that romance is putting some candles around a living room and cuddling up, then add a jazz band or pianist, classic wine and a dry-cleaned suit, and then ask your partner what romance is. Eating Out has an inherent kudos that just gives it an edge wherever you are, and if you pick up the tab (Price points lost) then you can guarantee that the atmosphere will be a winner.

Atmosphere winner: EATING OUT

Eating Out versus Eating In - Price

2009-09-17T15:46:00.003-04:00

Part 2 - Price
NB - If you are confused by the acronyms, see Part 1!

Now, all you NOSHers out there may think that this is a no brainer. Sure, if you're a bit of a LETCH you can get a pepparoni pizza for £1.74, but we are no LETCHes! A HUNK knows that if truly Eating In, then they are the host, which means that they will be picking up the tab for all their guests. That tab should consist of NOSH ingredients, and in all seriousness should be a meal that requires some effort to put together.

This can be quite an arbitrary amount, but assume a standard EI, consisting of four people. You're looking at maybe £5-£10 in meat, £4 vegetables, £3 extra ingredients, £10 wine (2 bottles, assuming a third is delivered by guest on arrival). Even without concessions such as dessert, the bill is a potential £27. Order in a DVD? £4. Pay-per-view sports event? £15. See how it all adds up?

When you start thinking GOSH, then it can again be quite a mix-up of prices. For two courses you can pay anything from £20-£500. An average nice Italian, or Mexican, or tapas etc. will come to about £30. We're talking a bottle of wine between two, some bread, the music, the minimal effort, choice of food. Admit it, you're just worth it.

The verdict? You can combine price with value for money, and still come up pretty close between the two. But of course, the difference is you can still go cheap, but keep ingredients relatively respectable; for that reason:

Price Winner: EATING IN

Eating Out versus Eating In - Quality of Food

2009-09-16T07:17:00.007-04:00

Over the past few years, with the recession biting, Eating In (EI) has become so popular that rapper Nelly even wrote a song about it. As a proud advocate of the Friday night restaurant visit, but also budding chef (I have two cookbooks), I thought it was about time to take a bite into the unknown, and finally clear up which option is top of the menu. Of course, this had to be split into four quite specific areas - Quality of Food, Price, Atmosphere and The Event As A Whole.

Part 1 - Quality of food

To EI properly, you need to adhere to the NOSH (Never Out, Scoff at Home) rules of only buying top quality ingredients. If you are opting to EI with a ready meal or ordered pizza, you are a LETCH (Lazy Eater Thoroughly Consuming Horribly). In this report, I won't be dealing with LETCHes, only HUNKs (Honourably Upholding NOSH Knowledge).

A HUNK will always visit markets, butchers, bakeries and farms borough-wide, and may even grow their own produce in the garden or allotment. These HUNKs are known as CHUNKIES (Considerably Honourably Upholding NOSH Knowledge Improving Eating Standards).

If NOSH is upheld, then the quality should be of top standard.

Eating Out will of course depend on the restaurant. As a rule of thumb, eating out should be used to experience new restaurants and places, which means that quality of food cannot be overseen. Members of the AEIOU (Avoid Eating In Occasions Union) often have knowledge of the surrounding area, but for novice GOSH (Go Out, Sod Home) fans, this can be a risky business. Therefore, the nod for quality (due to assurance) goes to the NOSHers.

Quality of food winner: EATING IN

A Matter of Life and Death

2009-09-15T14:56:00.005-04:00

The world works in a series of juxtapositions, or so they say. Things come in pairs - the good, and the bad (Remember the Ruth Rendell mystery, "The Double"?) . I've been noticing this - dare I say fact? - throughout this week.

Friday was the anniversary of a vast amount of Death as New York and Washington led the western world in remembering the events of 9/11. That same morning, I came across an article about some of the Life that was breathed into some of the families that day - the 9/11 babies.

Death was evident today, with the demise of a two 1980s legends, an actor and a chef. One was the life and soul of the kitchen; the other, a soul of life in a blockbuster film.

Prince Harry celebrated Life for the 25th time today, pocketing a handy £300,000 a year. The reason for this windfall? The Death of his Mother in 1997.

Finally, in my musings of the mortal way of things - Channel 186 on the Sky EPG has today met a sad and lonely demise. It's name?

Life.

Five reasons why people will pay for news

2009-09-10T07:16:00.005-04:00

Following on from yesterday's post, I'm flipping the coin to see if pay-for sites might actually work in the real world. Here are five reasons why they may just get off the ground...

1. More money means better journalism

This may not sound very believable, given the past actions of capitalized greedy pig News International, but having a bit more ham in the news pork pie should and would lead to better news content. Over the past few decades, newspapers have fell by the wayside, and the majority of survivors have decreased their number of editors, correspondents, size of offices and size of newspapers. The Independent is hanging on by the skin of its teeth. With some more revenue, newspapers can get back to serious investigative journalism that could mark the end of Twitter quotes and shared paraphrasing.

2. A bit of mystery can always pull the punters in

A bit of exclusivity can always lure an unsuspecting news addict in. How many people in their late twenties can remember 'phoning Teletext Sport to find out which "shock move for world class Brazilian" their club was involved in?

First impressions seem that this is the route News International will initially go down, with premium reports and news available on top of a skeleton headline. It could prove tantalizing enough to work.

3. All the main players will follow News International

If Murdoch and Co. jump in and suddenly make a quick buck, then soon all main newspapers will follow. If everyone has followed suit, the initial annoying and uproar of the consumers will soon fizzle out into a shrug of acceptance and go on addition to the 'good old days' gripes, just under 'Top flight football on terrestrial telly' and above 'Penny sweets only cost a penny'.

4. People don't want their newspapers to disappear

There is a fair bit of pride when it comes to our newspapers. I've spent a year in North America and always found our newspapers to be much more fun, informative and well-written than our American cousins' efforts. When they become under the cosh, surely the ardent supporters of Page Three, Media Guardian and Times Ed will rally behind their respective reads and help them to survive?

5. I'm struggling here...

Looks like there are only actually four viable reasons why a pay-for model is good for newspapers. Reason 1 could be the foundation of the whole of this side of the argument!

Five reasons why people won't pay for news

2009-09-09T06:49:00.003-04:00

If and when newspaper sites become pay-for content (as planned by News International, for one), there are going to be a variety of pros and cons. Over the next couple of days, I am going to ask, and hopefully answer the question - will it work? Today, I'm looking at the cons...

1. There will always be an alternative somewhere on the net, that is just as interesting

People tend to read internet news as a break between work, and work. It is consumed quickly, cheaply and on the hoof. Anyone that takes the time to go through a whole site, specifically to become up-to-date, will probably already have a Times subscription. With news being consumed in this way, the vast majority of readers will simply see a charge, breathe a sigh of disappointment, and then Google News to find a report elsewhere.

2. Internet news isn't news, it's opinion

Newspaper and broadcast news sites are becoming increasingly based around blogs and opinion. A sketchy estimate of the amount of blogs on the internet could be over 200million. Which means that should people begin to have to pay to read an opinion, there is always going to be a blog that offers an opinion that doesn't cost.

3. We are in an age of free stuff for free people

Free downloads, free networking sites (RIP Friends Reunited), free music - 'free' is a Generation Y watchword, and they won't be changing their ethos because the corporate monsters tell them to. Internet has aided the sharing of information more than the invention of the word. People connect over vast distances, at vast speeds and with vast choice. The model going forward for businesses should and possibly will be, what can we offer for free?

4. News doesn't have the pulling power

With the advent of celebrity, people just don't care about news and newspapers as much any more. These are sad and disappointing times, but Jordan divorcing Peter is now more paramount information than nuclear testing in North Korea. Celebrity gossip is there to be had, far past the reaches of newspapers, and people won't need to subscribe for it.

5. Times are hard

People, we are in a recession! The money that goes towards food, TV license, petrol and school uniforms is not going to go wasted on a newspaper website!

Check back tomorrow for the pros of pay-for newspaper sites

British Broadcasting Corp-italization

2009-09-03T14:40:00.003-04:00

There was uproar in West London this week as Murdoch Jnr. expressed his dislike for the BBC. It wasn't the most shocking revelation this week. News International has long sent enviable glances from BSkyB in Isleworth to the Beeb in Shepherd's Bush - possibly bouncing them off the International Space Station.

The main gripe was the BBC's gobbling up of Lonely Planet's travel guide company. The company have always had a remit to be a public service, but quite where this unending growth fits in, BSkyB cannot be sure. They had always been the flag-bearers of unquestionable capitalized power, but it seems their antithesis has other ideas.

Can't they all get along? Pay TV was supposed to be set for tough times in these tough times, whereas in reality Sky has found itself floating atop a wave of laziness. People can't be bothered to go out, so they better beam as much in as they can.

The BBC has taken some muse from Swine Flu, by spreading far and wide across the country, into television, computers and now even travel guides. As ever, Britain's oh-so-cheerful public have let out gasps of astonishment. It seems that the BBC hasn't managed to please everyone. The commentators are still finding time to log-on and leave their abuse sliding down from every blog and article a BBC journalist can produce.

Lonely Planet now being partly publicly owned does seem like a possible venture too far. Internet and online viewing have long been something the BBC has been part of - perhaps they are worried about the drop in licence fee revenue as people adopt an iPlayer only stance?

Bloodgate

2009-09-02T15:42:00.003-04:00

There was always something about rugby - its integrity, but right to push the rules as far as they would go. Dean Richards, and possibly half of rugby itself, crossed the whitewash and then some.

The whole Bloodgate scandal has caused the football fans of this world to look across from North London to South West with expressions of disdain and ridicule, despite the mess that is now ensuing Eduardo.

The differences between the two sports, is that Neil Back can win a European Cup with his hand in the scrum, and it is deemed a shrewd bit of talented cheatery, but Arsenal's Croatian forward can't go to ground incredibly easy, a la Wayne Rooney last weekend, and claim an advantage for his team. In my opinion, as long as everyone is playing from the same rule book (and by that, I don't necessarily mean the referee's), then every game is fair. Take an inch where you might, take a mile when it's needed. By the way, can you guess who was Leicester's coach on the day of that infamous Back-hand?

With Bloodgate in general, it is quite shocking the preparation that went into creating a blood situation. Richard Cockerill has mentioned he had stitches loosened - which I think can be seen as taking an inch. To use and falsify an injury that hasn't even happened is taking so much distance that Deano is but a speck on the horizon.

Thank the Rugby Gods that Harlequins opponents that day were the eventual champions of Europe.

£Right,to,die,aint.cheap

2009-08-07T16:25:00.004-04:00

Everything is big business. You name it, there is a business associated, a union striking because of it, an activist group burning whatever it is in protest of it, employees complaining about it, employers complaining about employees complaining...what happened to good, old, discreet handicraft?

One of the most prominent 'big businesses' to come to the fore recently was the age of business of suicide, or more eloquently; the right to die. All this talk of winning the right to travel abroad brought me to wonder - how much does it actually cost?

How would the Dignitas advert go if it launched fully over here?

"Plane to Switzerland, £300. Board in Zurich, £300. Lethal injection, Priceless*."
*Priceless may mean £5000

The cost of the plane was rounded up. I'm not going with Ryanair - have you seen how much they rinse you on covert charges? You can't cut corners when you're planning on kicking a bucket or two.

Or can you? Spending getting-on-for £6000 on a dying wish seems like madness to me. Can I set up my own 'die with dignity' workshop? I've watched CSI: Miami, I know how it can be done. For a fiver I'll lend you a pair of scissors to stick in your eyeball. That would even cover clean-up costs. That way, your loving son or daughter can treat themselves to a nice Caribbean holiday to help them recover from their grief.

Have a bit of dignitas and think about others than yourself.

Twat the Twits

2009-08-05T13:01:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since I last posted. I have enjoyed an intermission of satellite TV, overtime, xbox 360 (I needed a game fix!), visiting and visitors, summer and laziness. It's high time that I was putting something proper on here, so I'll attempt to keep it up to date and, even more controversially, interesting.

Let me first make one thing clear: the world isn't going to end. An earthquake here, a tsunami there, a murder yesterday and a slept-through alarm clock tomorrow. All these catastrophic occurrences can't all be documented on Twitter, and therefore don't exist. So don't worry about it. Apparently, because things don't happen in more than forty-word-format any more, we will develop memory spans of fish (not too disappointing when you discover that it is actually much more than the previously thought two minutes).

You probably thought that if I was dealing with current affairs in this blog that I would mention swine flu. Well, to be honest, I couldn't find an obscure celebrity Tweeting about the subject, so I had to lump that worldwide, potentially apocalyptic phenomenon with the rest.

For the sake of research, I dipped my finger into the poultry themed fountain of knowledge, and found the startling revelation that Jordan is not getting engaged nothing of the sort just seeing someone i like spending time with (sic)!

I begrudge giving the bird-site any more attention, so I have to move on to the second most important ponder of the day - at what age can people stop full-on kissing?

Kate saw a couple old enough to be Harry Patch's grandparents having a top-notch frenchy today - is that still allowed? Whilst teenagers trade saliva on a minutely basis, the old timers usually save their passion and energy for waving their fists at said teenagers and driving at a pace slower than Harriet Harman's thought processes. Radiohead's (In Memory Of) Harry Patch put all this into perspective. I think breathing chemical gas, working the mines, enduring hours upon hours of Songs of Praise and watching the world descend into shallow, endless nonsense earns them the right to touch dentures once in a while.

Parental Guidance

2009-01-12T15:27:00.003-05:00

My father, departs at seven,
Swallowed be my game,
Thy swings be brung,
They will get done,
On earth as they are in the brochure.

Send me this day to wailing bed,
And give me these (WWE Wrestling) guest passes,
As you get those guest passes from work.
And lead me now unto the Playstation,
But deliver me Resident Evil.
So then you bring them, the passes and signed photo of Nicky Shorey, for ever and ever. Charmin'.

Rents for rent

2009-01-11T17:02:00.003-05:00

It's a sad day in a life
When you finally wave
Goodbye to your Mum
Who tells you, "Behave"

You're out on a limb
Without cash or cooked dinners
You buy your own own cupboards
And paint, and paint thinners

On days dark as charcoal
There might be a whoppin'
Great bill for the 'leccy
So Dad'll get the big shop in

There's no time and no place
That a child won't be leaning
On the olds, they'll still visit
And start with the cleaning

So never despair
When your weekdays are spent in
Now you're strictly a grown up
With your mates, you're all renting

When the mornings are woken
By alarms on your phone
It's a sign of the day when
You finally left home.

Down Occupation Road

2009-01-10T08:20:00.003-05:00

An old game of two halves, but it's not funny,
Thick ears and bruised eyes, no striker craving money,
A pint of Yorkshire bitter, a quid and some change out of pocket
Changing rooms full of valuables still intact, even though I forgot to lock it.

An icy canvas for magicians to play, a brisk wind to chill a spectator,
A ref who's not blind, or an 'f' word, or 'c', and a captain who's not a dictator,
An hour plus one third, and the finish is beckoned,
One minute we're enemies, but not bad blokes we then reckoned.

Pie and chips with the boys, once we're back and all showered,
More ale and some whiskey, watch the Saints overpowered,
Bad backs, sore heads, and a knee gone to bugger,
But it's all part and parcel, of a day at the rugger.

Power of the Media

2008-12-08T05:18:00.003-05:00

..or not, as the case may be. In my jobless state, I have inevitably been drawn into daytime television such as Jeremy Kyle and The Wright Stuff. It's part of the territory, between sending CVs, telephoning potential employers and half-hearted attempts at exercise that I would succumb to morning discussion programmes.

Today's show included a segment about Pablo the Drug Mule Dog.It all seems a bit childish to me, and I don't see it reaching 16-25 year olds, as the government advertised. Some valid points were made about shock tactics. In my opinion, this age group are all aware of the dangers of drugs, and have made a conscious and educated decision on whether to take them or not. The problem is in the more formative years, namely primary schools.

The drugs issue didn't exist for me at school until at least 14 years old. That was when I first heard about people smoking joints or, in more extreme cases, taking ecstasy. I didn't have a clue about it all, I hadn't even heard of most of the words being banded around at lunch time. If people know about it before that, then maybe, by the time they start to come across the real thing, they have more sense to say no.

Public service ads are outdated. They are from a time when television dictated the way we live. Nowadays, there are too many forms of media for television to hold any sway any more. People see, hear and digest media at too high a level to take notice of flashing pictures and grabbing music.

Go back to first hand experience. Police in schools, teachers and, to a higher extent parents tackling the issues with their children. It's about time parents took a bit of responsibility back, and then maybe their children will start to listen.

Return to the grind

2008-12-02T11:42:00.002-05:00

This entry has been a long time coming. A persistent run of bad technological luck, coupled with a busy few months, and then some recuperation, has meant that this blog had to be put on hold for a bit - but I'm back, fresh and ready to rant!

Since the last few entries, I have accumulated five years' worth of travel experience. Compressed into three weeks, a tour South from Vancouver, to Seattle, Portland, San Francisco and Los Angeles, has yet again opened my eyes to the merits of the United States as an existence. A lot can be made of the global view of the Americans, but my forthright and, admittedly, proud British opinion has changed from meeting incredibly educated and friendly people south of the border.

I incorporated all the sights you would expect. From Seattle, the Space Needle and Pike Market; Portland showcased Portlandia, the world's second largest copper-hammered statue; San Francisco was bustling with culture, Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge; and of course LA was studded with glitter, diamantes and even their real, expensive cousins.

Back in England I'm on the job search. I've been rebuilding bridges that over the year had become slight woodworm-eaten. I've had to reconnect some social wires and reacquaint myself with some typical English idiosyncrasies. Some are a delight to return to, others are a pain in the rear.

The recession and massive national debt seem on a mission to cripple the advances of my fledgling career, but perseverance and friendships are my weapons. Lack of lending and high interest rates are a bane, but defiance I have in abundance, and at least the Internet still has glorious games like www.stickcricket.com. This keeps me sane in between brain-wasting application forms.

It is a tired, weary brain and fingers that have created this entry. More jobs on the list, more telephone numbers to call, more hopeful glances at my own, optimistically anticipating £22k + exc. ben. Fingers crossed!

Leap of faith

2008-09-16T00:51:00.003-04:00

Like tourists on Broadway,
The wind rushes by,
Like a stone,
A human will fly.

Like vines on a wall,
The fields will grow,
Like a rocket,
A human won't slow.

Like strobes at a disco,
My mind sees my youth,
Like epiphanies,
I plummet to the truth.

Like stoppage time,
The minutes are too long,
Like a cuckoo,
I fly where I don't belong.

Like cotton wool,
The clouds pass my ears,
Like the final bend,
My finish nears.

Like the operation room,
Cloth offers survival,
A parachute, a jump,
An emotional revival.

Weekly award

2008-08-27T20:26:00.002-04:00

This week, it's:

WEEKEND ACTIVITY OF THE WEEK

SKYDIVE!

Dreams

2008-08-24T23:42:00.007-04:00

"It's usually somewhere between the toilet roll and fabric softener that I drift away. Looking into the soft, double-ply, I find myself being jealous of that puppy. Jealous of a puppy! Can you believe that? Even a small dog, the colour of wee, can make it onto the telly. All it does is run off with the same stuff that I wiped my bum with yesterday, in it's mouth of all places. I could hold a toilet roll and run. Where is the talent on the box?

I didn't have to be a call-centre worker. I had a band at school. Me on the guitar, the lead strummer. I was the superstar of the West Mosley senior school prom. All I need was my big break, then the bleeding puppy would be sandwiched by my concert, live from Berlin.

Thirty years old, and I'm a supervisor in a call centre. The bloke from the Darkness was older than me, when he made it big. So what, if it was only for a week. I could still recognise him in the street. People should be recognising me in the street.

What has it come to, eh? I'm jealous of a blinking puppy. I've been standing here for at least ten minutes, with a Superfluffy Velvet in one hand, and a Mega-Non-Bum-Stick-Silk in the other.

I'll be that puppy. I'll stop by the guitar shop on the way home, and I'll find that Fender that I used to have - or maybe I should go for something a bit less Eighties. But I'll get one, and I'll make it. I'll be eating that puppy for breakfast."

The moral of the story - it's never too late to give up on what you want to do. It may be that you want to become a rock star, or an actor, or a postman. Whatever it is, make it happen. Stop wishing on a cloud, start living on one.

Imagination

2008-08-21T23:55:00.006-04:00

For every bruise,
There is a fort,
Fending off the warlord,
A dragon slain.
For every scar,
There is a race,
Firing around the hairpins,
Through the chicane.

For every curse,
There is a cowboy,
Galloping across the West,
Digging in spurs.
For every tear,
There is a robot,
Indestructible to all,
An engine whirs.

For every fist,
There is a raptor,
All teeth and mighty claws,
Chasing its prey.
For every night,
There is cave,
Exploring the depths,
Back into day.

For every morning,
There is a face,
Hiding beneath a duvet,
Abuse aged just seven.
For every death,
There is escape,
Swap a life in hell for
A life in heaven.

This is an ode to the resilience of abused children. It shouldn't happen. Sort it out and go to http://www.nspcc.org.uk/.

Weekly award

2008-08-19T01:30:00.004-04:00

This week, it's:

BEST SPORTS TEAM OF THE WEEK

BRITISH OLYMPIC CYCLING SQUAD

Requiem for a feeling

2008-08-19T00:59:00.005-04:00

It was only a feeling,
A space where there was none,
You were the one,
Trace shadows on the ceiling,

Flash points in the dark,
The ecstasy and despair,
Once joined,
Now apart.

Now searching for meaning,
In time cherished,
Joys of the past are perished
Requiem for a feeling.

This is the first in what will be a weekly installment of poetry that will cover points in the lives of average and extraordinary people, events both remarkable and trivial. Basically, anything that I feel needs to be covered. Enjoy.

If we don't know it, maybe it just doesn't exist

2008-08-13T01:15:00.004-04:00

The book I am reading at the moment, In the footsteps of Churchill by Richard Holmes, has hinted that the man voted the Greatest Briton of All Time, was afflicted with Asperger's Disorder.

In these days of modern medicine and groundbreaking research, a man rose to become leader of (at the time) the declining, most powerful empire in history.

In 1940, when Churchill came to office, and in the midst of the most devastating war, he didn't hold an illness. He was just a bit rude, maybe brash, he could be caught off guard sometimes, if his routine was upset.

It wasn't until 1944 when, in Vienna, Hans Asperger observed that some children suffered from an inability to interact socially, and in some cases, had poor speech reception.

There is no denying that Asperger's Disorder is something that does affect people. Nowadays, however, if a child is suffering from the illness, he is taken out of his class for periods at a time and given special attention.

If Churchill was in today's climate, would he have had the same chances to become Prime Minister? Of course there are many other factors involved - his breeding, his education, the political situation etc., but I don't think it would have happened.

He would have probably have been branded with less than knowledgeable assumptions about his demeanour and intellect, and I think he wouldn't have made it.

Yet he is the 'Greatest Briton'. In my opinion, maybe sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

Matt Slater - my hero

2008-08-13T00:41:00.003-04:00

Please, please, PLEASE read this blog and comments. Never before have I seen such irate commentary of an article. Praise due for Matt Slater who, in a blog (which is meant to invoke debate), achieves just that! Maybe not the intelligible, constructive argument that he was hoping for, but it has kept me entertained for hours.

I know this is the second nod towards this link, but this is the second night I have returned, to see the comments on the article increase to almost 400!

Weekly award

2008-08-11T20:47:00.003-04:00

This week, it's:

MOST SPOTTED CELEBRITY IN DOWNTOWN VANCOUVER BY ME

KAT VON D FROM 'LA INK'

BB-seething

2008-08-11T20:27:00.004-04:00

God bless the BBC Olympic Blog. Without it, the boredom that I suffer as I search public companies and review contracts at work would be insufferable.

It isn't just the polarising opinions that Adrian Warner, Jill Douglas and, in particular, Matt Slater put into witty columns - it's the hilarious comments that follow.

I always had the BBC viewer as a more knowledgeable creature, who attempted to verbalise creative discussion. Instead, the comments that follow even some of the more innocuous blogging are those of partisan, nationalist maniacs (or a knitted jumper version thereof). Poor attempts at political mastery are followed by cheap shots. Criticism of the text are unfounded, if they only read over the actual meaning of the words. Hypocrisy and maliciousness are rife.

It's fantastic. It's like a text based, very English Jerry Springer. It only serves to remind me of how easy the media can have it, when they want to provoke and manipulate response from an idiot crowd.

Having a novel idea

2008-08-06T21:39:00.003-04:00

The past couple of weeks has the recommencement the start of my main project in life - my novel.

I'm doing it in baby steps, this time. If it takes me three years, then so be it (hopefully it won't take that long!). It has no name, there's a sketchy bit in the middle, and the ending is all in my mind, and changing every morning when I wake up and have a 'eureka' moment.

Nevertheless, it is coming on. I am nearly finished with the prologue (that means I'm nearly at the start line, not even there yet), and am raring to begin the main body. There will be no rushing. Each day, I read again from the start, and change half of it.

Evolution is the word, I have decided. Let it evolve, and with any luck, a masterpiece will grow.

So, here's a small taster. It doesn't really mean much yet, but this might be rewritten anyway:

It was three years ago that my perfect bubble had burst. In a private hospital ward, dressed in nothing but a sterile white smock, I was told that I have lung cancer.

No big deal, these days. Everyone has it, or knows someone that has had it. I remember a day that when you told someone you had cancer, they would look at you in despair, and maybe take a step back in the fear it was contagious. Now, it is something everyone talks about over dinner. Between sips of Cabernet Sauvignon and nibbles of garlic bread, chemotherapy and radiography are light entertainment.

Vagablogging

2008-08-05T01:24:00.002-04:00

I am now blogging on Vagablogging every Saturday and Sunday, go and check it out!

Weekly award

2008-08-05T00:40:00.003-04:00

This week, it's:

BEST U.S. VERSION OF A BRITISH PROGRAM

RAMSAY'S KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

Learn from the Irish

2008-08-05T00:22:00.004-04:00

"Never before had I been so transfixed in a spot due to one man.

His fingers, rough and weathered from many a year strumming the thick steel bands across his guitar, were ugly. Yet they produced a sound that had every person in the room silent and watchful. The man was muscular, with the appearance of a fisherman. He was maybe about 40 years old, with a chin peppered with grey and black, his face creased up like tanned hide. He looked the picture of strength and masculinity, but his eyes defied him. They were two chasms, bottomless and fragile. Every few seconds he looked up, observing the crowd about him, then back to his instrument.

Then his voice. It told the tale of a thousand heartbreaks. A story of loss and despair. We could not take our gaze away. Picking the strings, then eking out a train of gravel from his throat. It was messy and uncut, like the man's thick hair, yet it was mesmerizing. As he sang, a glossy coat formed over his eyes, and a greasy film gathered on his brow.

Tucked into the corner, the man began his music amidst the undertones of conversation and hearty laughter. Now every soul in the pub was feeling his pain, and wanted to share more of it.

As he tailed off from the first song, there wasn't even any applause. It wasn't because of dissatisfaction - it was awe."

If there is one thing I have learnt on my travels, it is that us English have so much to learn, about everything. We have our plus points, I am proud to be English - but I have experience so many experiences that I envy other cultures for.

The latest example was Saturday night, at a party populated by Irish men and women that stretched into the early (and late) hours of the morning.

One man, who knew the same limited amount of people as I did, found a guitar, had it tuned in minutes, and in two minutes was singing.

And it was fantastic. He took requests, and in no time, the room were all singing to his music, and having a great time. I couldn't envisage it happening in an English party.

Already two drunk from the six litres of cider we would have consumed, half of us would be with our heads down the toilet, or in a bush, or around someone else's face.

I was amazed at the scene that had unfolded around me on Saturday. I felt like an alien in a strange planet. It was brilliant.

There's sonnet going on in here

2008-08-04T23:45:00.002-04:00

By request, this week is to summed up using a sonnet:
When considered on a starry night,
The actions of friends don't disguise,
A lonely night lest replies,
When explosions gave the heavens light,
Olympic rings spray the bay in white,
Flowers illuminate the skies,
Companions I have felt less wise,
A solitary eve shall harbour no blight,
Picked up by the greenest of friends,
Language crude yet song fair,
Celtic comrades stretch into the morn,
A soft voice and a guitar sweetly lends,
To the colour of his true Love's hair,
And a beaten man is no longer forlorn.

Weekly award

2008-07-29T21:14:00.003-04:00

This week, it's:

FUNNIEST PART OF SEINFELD OF THE WEEK

KRAMER STILL MAKING BUS STOPS UNDER ATTACK FROM SOME PUNK

Hai ku-d the weather have turned so quickly?

2008-07-29T20:57:00.004-04:00

Tears on my window,
Dark in my weary eyes,
An air of sadness,

Good has become evil,
With the turning of the skies,
A hint of madness,

A gap through the grey,
Gives hope to future life,
A beacon through storms.

The summer has turned. Vancouver's rains are back, and everyone at work is a bit fed up. This town has its reputation as a soggy patch on the earth, but while I have been here, the weather has been as close to perfect as I could have hoped for. Just a few more days please. It's the National BBQ Championships in Whistler this weekend!

Sinning the jackpot

2008-07-23T20:13:00.003-04:00

"You know, the way to win the lottery," I was telling my workmate Caitlin today, "Is to become a bum. I never saw a hardworking, middle-to-working class winner of the lottery. The jackpot always goes to someone who already has the green stuff coming out of their ears, or it goes to one of those slimy, benefit scam leeches that I see in the newspaper every week. It sickens me.

"If there is a God, he would give all this cash (that I think he invented anyway) to someone that deserves it. But he doesn't. So from now on, I'm going to quite my job, become the scum of the earth, never pay my taxes, have ten different children with five different women, and be hated by everyone. Then I'll become a millionaire."

"Well what about that one in the Ireland that won the Euromillions?" Caitlin interjected, "She was..."

"...a tramp!" I finished the sentence for her, "a gypo, scum. I've proven my point. The scum of the earth, in one, lazy instant, becomes richer than David Beckham. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Caitlin, now stony-faced, replies, "She's my auntie."

That's the problem with sarcasm. While it is consistently the funniest form of wit, and has me in tears of laughter (admittedly sometimes from my own jokes), it is through implied offence and closeness-to-the-bone that it achieves its hilarity. But fly an inch closer, and you're over the line.

Then you feel guilty. Well I do, anyway. I suppose that professional comedians have offended so many people in their lifetime, they become kind of immune to it. But if I find that I have done so, I become wracked with guilt and shame.

Will it ever stop me? Of course not. I'll just have to learn to take my foot squarely out of my mouth for once.

Lazy empire

2008-07-21T23:14:00.004-04:00

The bloody alarm never went off. On this day, of all days, I had slept in. I glared at the clock, letting it absorb my hatred, but it taunted me back - "19 minutes to shower and eat breakfast", it said to me. It was do-able, but it definitely wouldn't be a calm, composed morning as I prepared for the biggest presentation of my professional career.

All of my education, my degree, my training, my life, had geared up for this day. Scrambling my notes together, I arrived at the office with exactly eight minutes to prepare. Minus the five minutes of actually setting up projectors and so forth, it meant I had two minutes to gather myself.

As the execs filed in, I straight away felt stupid. The Japanese came in, speaking to each other in their own language, then turning around and addressing the Germans, in English, who did the same to the Americans. Even, to my astonishment, the Americans (who I had safely convinced myself were self-obsessed, egotistical horse fodder) were remarkably talented, as they spoke in all languages under the sun, it seemed. I stood their. An Englishman, who speaks English. I attempted to gee myself up with the old "We invented the world, spread the language, colonized the barbarians" bollocks, but it didn't wash. In short, I felt stupid, I looked stupid.

My career was flashing before my eyes. I saw it all going down the pan. These international business superstars were drawing their pens from their briefcases. It was Edward Bulwer-Lytton who said 'The pen is mightier than the sword'. He was right (or is it 'write'?). The Far Eastern Samurais were going to slice my presentation in half with their hiragana, the Germans would dissect my promotion like the Franks destroyed Gaul, and the Americans would just, well, see that I'm actually pathetic at my job and make sure I'm never in this position again.

The lights dimmed, the presentation dissolved into the first slide. I began...

I'm guilty of it, but I hate the general English laziness and arrogance of not possessing another language. We all learn French at school, but it's only a small proportion that ever keep it up. I've attempted to improve; I want to be able to talk to my French soon-to-be relations, and have them talk to me.

I admit, I'm jealous of these bilingual countries, where children grow up knowing languages. The minorities in England have it. I had a friend who switched in a second from Hindi to English, and back again. In Quebec, French-Canadians have dual-language from birth. Even in Vancouver, the Chinese, Portuguese, and any other communities keep their heritage language, while speaking English like it was silk tumbling out of their mouths.

Now English, we're different. Where are we a minority group? Spain, maybe. The Costa Del Sol. What language do the ex-Pats speak? English, of course. People become frustrated on holidays, when they order their beer and fish and chips, and the waiter replies in a broken English language. The cheek! Not being able to speak English fluently? And in SPAIN of all places!

It makes me ashamed. But like I said, do I have a second language? Of course not, I'm English.

Working in mysterious ways

2008-07-20T21:22:00.005-04:00

I had only just arrived back from a blissful fortnight in Rome when I received the call. It came as a shock, not only because I was still horizontal from my week sipping espressos in the shadow of Vatican City, but also because it concerned a guy who had been part of my life, in some way or other, since I was three years old.

"John's dead," Matt's unshaken, matter-of-fact voice said, "He was kicking in some shop window, high as a kite, some said. He bust an artery in his leg and now he's dead."

I didn't really know what to say. If anything, I was glad that Matt told me. With Matt I didn't have to put on any of this heartbroken front. I'd known John for a long time, we were best friends back in Primary school. After that, he had just become a bully, a drug addict and an arse. The funny thing was, I had just begun to think maybe he was growing out of his pathetic stage, and this happened.

"Oh," was my unremarkable reply. I could have said how sorry I was. To who? To Matt? He cared about as much as me, I could tell from his tone. He was telling me how devastated all of our old school crowd was, how it was such a tragedy. I stopped short of "He had it coming to him."

It's strange how people think about karma. Some live their life by it. They stop with dread when they commit a sin, as they check over their shoulder in case it is already creeping back to haunt them. It works both ways.

I don't believe in it. I'm cynical by nature. Although I have found that when you are a good person, and make the right decisions, good things come to you. I did know someone who died. He was taking drugs. I had another 'acquaintance' who died kicking in a shop window. I can't say they were friends. We played together at school, but I didn't feel a spot of sadness when they passed. Nobody deserves to die, but I feel that you have to earn a kind of right to live.

A lot of people came out of the woodwork, so-called 'friends' who were 'devastated'. They almost felt as if they were missing out on the collective sadness. I've only ever felt sadness for one person who died, who I didn't know. Even then, I'm not sure I was sad about the deceased, I was just experiencing an iota of the pain that one of my best friends was going through. On this occassion, there was no justice in death. The man that died was a saint, and should be remembered as so.

But kicking through a window? Committing crimes, on surely a slippery slope to further, more abhorable indiscrestions? Maybe they should have been given some time to repent. Maybe not.

Human-beings search for the best in people, they try to find a way to help people. Karma isn't so forgiving.

Global warming kills off cooler times

2008-07-17T01:14:00.004-04:00

She could only see his silhouette, as he floated through the mist. The tip of his trilby only revealed a chin, forged of steel. The collar of his overcoat covered him from the rain as the heavens spat down playfully onto his broad shoulders. She could only stand, motionless under her heaving umbrella. The wind was buffeting her face, pushing her away. She should have relented. But she just stood, as the stranger strolled towards her. She noticed expensive Italian shoes. The glow of a cigar seemed to be the only warmth emanating from this man. He was cool as ice. He was trouble. But she couldn't walk away. She wanted trouble.

Frank Sinatra. Sean Connery. Steve McQueen. They all had it. The good looks. The deep, slow, invigorating voice, the smoke, the films, the women.

It was all theirs, and they had a soundtrack to go. Sinatra even made his own. Women have been known to go weak at the knees to "The Wee Small Hours of the Morning". As the piano tinkles, and the bass reverberates, silk tumbles out of his mouth, and every romance is complete.

That's why I love jazz, and those older, less frivolous times. These guys, in black and white, wearing black and white, sipping on scotch, killing the bad guys. They all had it, and they had it all.

Romance is a candlelit table, on a terrace, overlooking a lake, with Dean Martin playing. I listen to the Rat Pack, and all I want to do is walk through the streets of some city somewhere, maybe with a trilby on, drink some coffee - all in slow motion. That's what this music is a soundtrack to. Perfect times.

These days, you're cool if you have enough money to buy the designer jewellery, have the most women draped across you, and the most exotic locations wrapped around you. Sure, Sinatra had a suit that the next man couldn't buy, but it wasn't the suit. It was the man in it. It was the way he carried himself. He could have been wearing a pair of lederhosen, and have a lollipop for a microphone, but the air around him would have still been condensing onto his German braces - he was that cool.

The 50's - the last real Ice Age.

Weekly award

2008-07-17T00:04:00.003-04:00

This week, it's:

THE GREATEST BOY BAND EVER CREATED

RAPTURE!

An ode to university

2008-07-16T22:58:00.007-04:00

I miss university. Uni was the best. Everything they said about uni before I went; the drinking, the friends, the parties, the experiences - it was all there, and some. Even sitting here, in the blazing sun, in Vancouver, after some great North American experiences since I left formal education, I still look back and miss it.

Some people say childhood is the best part of your life. Not me. Sure, I remember when I was eight-years-old, and all I had to worry about was which comic had the best free gift this week, or 1992, when Nigel Mansell made F1 so memorable, even at my tender age. Or a year later, when there was the Megadrive, Center Parcs, Jonny Mead's GameGear and more Transformers than you could shake a Fruit Salad at. Even the 1980's, which I vaguely recall a year of, couldn't compete with 2004-2007, despite consisting of playschool, stickers on Sport's Day, and the Desborough Carnival at its finest hour. Then there was Garden Olympics, where my little, big sister Alison beat us all at boxing (with Winter mittens on), and Vivien was frustrated as my parents made sure that I, the baby of the bunch, won an event.

Childhood was fantastic. But I don't miss it like I do university. It doesn't really add up, either. The course I chose was a wise one in theory. Journalism would propel me into the world of literature. I would be writing columns, uncovering shameful celebs and politicians, and making a name for myself amongst the Eddie Butlers, Andrew Marrs, and John Simpsons of this world.

It didn't work like that. Journalism involved less writing, and more finding out. It coached the description, the ingenuity and uniqueness out of me. I didn't enjoy what I was finding. There were some aspects; the sports, the music, the reviews, they were all fun. But hard news? Nope, not for me.

And the city wasn't too much to look at. Initially, it was the 'big' city, away from the rural climbs of Northamptonshire. But I soon wised-up. Newcastle, Sunderland's neighbour, had so much more, and I began to wish that maybe I had wound up there instead, studying English, and writing, not researching. I had swapped horse manure and motor racing for hoarse women and people who had to be suffering from some motor-neurone disease.

In reality, there isn't too much about university that I can say I enjoyed, in theory. The city was shit, the football team was shit, most inhabitants filled their bodies with shit, yet it was fantastic.

The answer as to why is obvious: the people. I could not have met a better collection of people in my three years stuck in the third worst city in the country. The group of Mancs, Geordies, a Smoggy, Mackem, a terrorist, a Yorkie and me, from somewhere in the middle, was perfect. We could go from stupid, to animated, to dedicated, to wasted, and that was all in one Monday night. We would perform magic tricks like make two 2-litre bottles of Taurus disappear in a hour - each. We would be boy bands (Rapture!), snooker players, wrestling alter-egos. We would sing Oasis until our voices were as hoarse as the skanks staggering around the nastier suburbs. We would create Pro-Evo football teams that made me laugh until my sides were splitting so much that my intestines were splattered onto the walls. We would discuss our collective hatred for JM Simpson, punch through windows as we tried to attack each other. If one of us hit rock bottom, there would be one of us to pick them up - then do 'The Rock Bottom' on the bouncy castle at point. We would pull girls (some much more successful than others), but we would be also be pathetic, and dance like idiots, and be geeks, but always with a sambuca and a turbo shandy to contradict the truth, and hide it from us.

We would put up with the crap music, and waste many Wednesdays at the student union. We would fake being hypnotised, but pretend that it worked so we could remain on stage and prove to our new flatmates how cool we are (okay, I'm speaking for myself). We could hold our dissatisfaction of Pumpkin Head, our awe of Lavell, our lust of Julie, our suspicion of SAS man, and our noses next to Barry.

I could go on about these people - you know who you are. They are still around. But that's not the point.

No, even from this side of the Atlantic, after adventures in Montreal, Toronto, New York, Washington, Quebec, Boston, Philadelphia, Vancouver; and more to come in Seattle, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Banff and Whistler, I am missing it. I met someone fantastic over here, and now she rubs it in, because she's going exactly where I miss.

Kate's off to uni. And I'm jealous. I know that when I do my Masters, it won't be the same. I can't drink like I used to be able to (it's true, and I'm only 22!), I like things like relaxing, and drinking coffee, and reading - all pointless at uni.

Strangely, I miss learning too. At uni, between all the stupor and ridiculousness, there were theories learned, and books read. Here, I am generally stuck in poor jobs, and I don't learn. It's a sad feeling, when you feel like you're standing still.

C'est la vie. Goodbye uni. I know you and I may never meet again. I know you have a taste for people younger than me, but I'll forgive you. Just treat Kate and well as you treated me!

Weekly award

2008-07-10T21:35:00.006-04:00

This week it's:

MOST RANDOM POLITICAL FIGURE BOUGHT UP IN A CONVERSATION

SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC

Lucky Break

2008-07-08T03:15:00.003-04:00

A lot of things broke today. I broke my sunglasses. The earpieces from the subtly striped, dark ripped earpieces were taken from where they belonged, attached to the eye section, and were broken. A heel was broken. As the blonde waif floated down Burrard Street, possibly on her way back from lunch, she looked to keel over for a second, before observing the damage of her possibly expensive shoes, which were broken. A biscotti was broken. Before I shoved it into my mouth, after waiting for hours through a certain film (to be named later) to eat. I had to eat it, therefore I had to break it. But what does it all mean? Don't be ridiculous, I'm not going to become one of these writers who thinks that between every line, under every stone, attached to every movement, there is meaning. I wouldn't want to put another teenager through the agony of trying to find it. But it is funny how one notices the breakages that forever happen in a life.

Broken transmissions, broken nails, broken bones, broken hearts. It happens all the time. Films dissect the breakages in our lives, and feed them back to us wrapped in beauty and perfection, like California sushi rolls, shoved down our throats for us to choke on while we try and digest the reality of our own lives.

Addressing my metrosexuality, I accompanied two of my German friends to digest some wrapped breakage of my own, in the form of the 'Sex and the City' movie. Believe me when I say that I was choking on whatever was being thrust upon me. Our American cousins have a lot to answer for when it comes to cliche, sound-bitten storylines. While I (semi-ashamedly) admit that I enjoyed the series' of SATC - and I defy any male that has or has had a partner who watches it avidly not to have been caught my the bug, or maybe the swarm of interest into how the other sex sees 'it' - the film was just the wrong bits of the TV version taken to an extreme.

I liked the television side of things because it gave a sort of rose-tinted, behind-the-scenes view into what women really think in relationships. I could put up with the flashy dress here, and the labelled bag there, and the $500 shoes in any gaps left by the other two, because I was learning something, however Hollywood-ised it was. But this film was the flashy dress, the labelled bag, and the $500 pair of shoes. No more realisations, just petty pandering to the female love of all beautiful and expensive.

But it did deal with one thing that caught my attention, and that was breakages. Relationships were broken, marriages were broken, hearts were broken. But they were mended. And this is the thing that Hollywood does so well. It mends. Americans mend. However broken everything is, it becomes mended by the end. Us English aren't so good at that. We see the mended, and wish it broken. We see the broken, and like to show the struggle, but at the end of the day, it should stay broken. No American dream on that side of the pond, please. Celebrity culture shows us - Beckham a great player? With a beautiful wife? A credit to our nation? -Of course not. He was a one trick pony, with a thin, fashonista fascist for a partner and he always loved L.A. more than he ever loved our shores. Nope, we don't like to see success, and if someone is happy, we always ask, 'why them?'.

But the fact remains, however polished it is by the likes of James Cameron, or Michael Patrick King, that for every breakage, there is a mend. Take me for example. Eighteen months ago I was broken, from an eventually acrimonious ending to a dragged out relationship, but as soon as I wasn't looking, a spanner was thrown into the works, and I was mended. There were times when I was fed up, and don't some of my friends know it, but now I couldn't be further from that place.

My brother, he was despondent, in an underpaid, understaffed position at an underachieving design firm. He was mended, with the help of a VISA for Australia, and some great friends he has met along the way.

The menders are out there. I found mine at university, and in a small comedy club in Toronto. Next time you're feeling a little bit broken, then just be safe in the knowledge that there is a life mechanic, who may not even know it yet, who will make sure your life gets a new set of wheels.

If all else fails, then get yourself down to the bar for a screwdriver (not advised for alcoholics).

Italian Job

2008-07-05T20:37:00.003-04:00

Sitting in Café Artegiano, sipping espresso, reading a book about painting theft in Rome, before strolling along the piazza for a pizza; my day has had a very European, in particular Italian, feel to it.

It was when I started reading John Grisham's The Broker that I began yearning for some of the antiquity and culture of Europe. In short, the plot is about an American who is relocated to Bologna, given a new name and identity, and begins to learn Italian. He steps into Italian life and culture, and it sounds brilliant. Early morning cappuccino, on a small, winding walkway, reading the papers, learning the language, everybody conversing.

Canada, more so than other 'newer' nations, does its best to inherit these traditions of friendliness, and closer personal space. Along Commercial Drive, with its Portuguese and Italian influence, coffee shops are speckled between bookshops and relaxed bars, with open fronts and friendly staff. But the authenticity is lost, when you look at how much history Canada really has.

It makes a European chuckle as tour guides describe 'ancient' 150-year-old buildings, in the 'old town' of a city. Even in England, some of the architecture in our quaint villages is overshadowed by coliseums in Rome and canals in Venice.

I travelled because I wanted to learn about new countries. In a strange way, I have learnt more about old countries at the same time. I will notice what I took for granted in Britain, and I will hanker to see more of my continent than I had previously seen. Rome, Bologna, Vienna, Bern, Stockholm, Barcelona, Marseille, Hamburg, Munich, Luxembourg...the list is endless. From the great cities of past empires and current democracies, to the fallen cities of Eastern Europe and the tips of the Arab lands, places like Sarajevo, Warsaw and Prague also cannot be dismissed. This year has opened a can of worms for me, and I can see how people become addicted to travelling.

Weekly award

2008-07-05T02:48:00.002-04:00

This week it's:

ANNOYING SKIN AILMENT OF THE WEEK

PEELING SUNBURN